Writing Prompt “Silence”

Theme: Silence

Required Elements:

  • none

Word Count: 1,200

  • This is the thread for stories as well as general comments. Say hello and be sure to check the “Notify me of follow-up comments by email” box for email notifications.
  • To leave feedback/Comments directly relating to a particular story – click “reply” to the story comment.
  • Specific critiques, comments, and feedback are encouraged. If you do not want honest professional feedback do not post a story.
  • Keep feedback and critiques to a civil and constructive level, please. Please critique stories for construction, style, flow, grammar, punctuation, and so on. The moderator has the right to delete any comments that appear racist, inflammatory or bullying.

Please Note: Comments may be considered “published” regarding other contest requirements.

All stories are fall under general copyright laws. No part may be reproduced without the express consent of the respective author.

Story Submission Rules:
  1. One story per author. You may post more than one but only the first story will qualify for voting.
  2. Stories must be in English, unpublished and your own work.
  3. Stories must fit into a single comment box and must stay within the word limit set for each contest.

Voting starts Wednesday morning at 10:00am PDT / 1:00pm EST / 11:30pm IST / 6:00pm WET/GMT/ 8:00pm CET/5:00am AEDT (Thursday) and you have 24 hours to vote.

  • You may vote only once.
  • You cannot vote for yourself.

To be included in the “writing prompt roster”, you must have submitted two stories in the last sixty days. The roster is alphabetical and can be found here.

See How to Participate for complete rules and disclaimers.

The writing prompt for April 15, 2021, will be chosen by Victoria Chvatal.

183 thoughts on “Writing Prompt “Silence”

  1. Read the stories here:

    (If you don’t see your story linked in this comment within a day or two, feel free to use the contact form to let Carrie know she somehow missed it.

    Meanwhile, please be patient, there is only one moderator, and she is not always online. We’ll get to it as soon as possible. Thank you.)

  2. Well I loved the last prompt but my story languishes half finished. I ALMOST felt like putting it up just for the fun of it. But…. hopefully the silence will be done by the end of next week. 🙂

  3. Still haven’t been able to write anything but I really enjoy reading everyone’s stories. Now I’ve just gotta get to writing comments so all you great writers hear more good feedback…

  4. Signing in because I made the mistake of not doing so last time, maybe this time I’ll read all the stories as they appear, instead of on the day of voting…

  5. Happy April everyone…

    The Importance of Being Silent

    Silent. That’s what he’d been told, to be completely silent. Not a word. Otherwise it would be all over.
    Jeff had known this was coming, had known for a couple of weeks in fact, but that didn’t make it any easier. He’d wondered if he should train for it, his aching joints screaming at him at this precise moment. He was too old for this, his bent arthritic knees testament to how he was no longer designed for being in this position.
    He had found a spot where he knew he could stay hidden, a place they wouldn’t see him when they come through the door. And he knew they’d come. They always came. He just hoped he wouldn’t give them away. He’d seen it happen once before, when they’d been spotted, and the hatred, confusion and vitriol directed at the guilty party was, well, shameful to say the least. There was no way he would be responsible for that. There was too much hurt afterwards, too many disappointed people. He would stay quiet. For as long as he could.
    There was no way of seeing anyone else, their hiding places like his shrouded in darkness and shadows. The room had recently been lit up and the contrast between the two states had been stark to say the least. From light to darkness, from clarity to confusion. He had never liked the dark, not since his elder brother had pinned him under the bedsheets when they were kids, a torture which may have seemed like harmless japes at the time, but which stayed with him throughout his whole life. And he was back in the dark now, a sense of foreboding washing over him.
    He controlled his breathing, making sure to take long, deep inhalations that were easy to silence. Shallower breaths usually emitted a sharp sound that would be clearly audible to anyone in the room, and he needed to remain incognito. He gripped the bottom of the table leg, squeezing tightly in another vain attempt to ease his fear. God, how he hated the dark, a dark that was made even worse by this deathly silence.
    His ears twitched, hearing a sound from outside. Passing bus? Approaching car? He couldn’t quite make it out but knew that the end was nearing, that it would be all over soon. He was tempted to get his phone out to check the time but didn’t want the light from the screen to give him away. To give them all away. He couldn’t even conceive what the consequences of that would be.
    A faint cough. Not from him, but from someone else in the room, someone else in the same position as him. QUIET, he mentally shouted at them, hoping that by some chance he had become gifted in ESP and mind-control and could actually make a difference by his thoughts. He strained again, listening for any other sounds. He could hear a dog in the distance and another vehicle passing but apart from that it was silent. Silent and dark.
    His knees and back were killing him, crouched as he was in this position. Cowered might be a better word, the upper half of his body almost folded over in half, hiding his legs and feet. He was trying to make himself as small as possible, a feat that was almost impossible to achieve with his aging bones. He desperately wanted to straighten up, to move a bit to relieve the pain that was coursing throughout his whole body but being stubborn he knew there was no way he would do anything to give up his hiding place.
    Footsteps. Voices. Two of them coming from the other side of the door. He held his breath one final time wondering if this was it. He heard a quick burst of laughter, almost sadistic he felt by this point, and then the tell-tale sound of a key entering a lock. The handle slowly turned, the pre-cursor he knew to the two of them entering the room.
    Quick as a flash, the room was illuminated by the visitors, the man having flicked on the light switch. This was it…
    “SURPRISE!!!” they all shouted as one, many of them leaping to their feet to see her stunned face. Jeff was a little slower to rise but was delighted to see how pleased his daughter was that his son-in-law had organised this surprise party for her fortieth birthday.

    1. For me your piece rippled with tension. I was scared throughout – loved the end. Well done.

    2. Clever story Mirk,

      I’ll spare details from my comment to avoid spoilers (if possible) but the reveal is sudden, unexpected and … well, like I said, no spoilers. Damn fine story.

    3. I felt the tension build throughout, but I think you should have left out the last sentence. I think the reader can deduce what’s happening. A few changes of tense which distracted me, but nothing that can’t be fixed

    4. Happy April to you, Mark. You did a good job of concealing the eventual twist ending by building up the tension quite nicely over something as mundane as a surprise Birthday Party. Good job.

      Couldn’t find much fault with your writing, and trust me, I looked. I think you can clean it up a bit, as you tend to get a bit superfluous, such as: The handle slowly turned, the pre-cursor he knew to the two of them entering the room. You lose the tension. We, as readers, know they are going to enter the room – you don’t need to tell us. The handle slowly turned … he cursed under his breath … come on, just open the damn door. This, in my humble opinion would have been a better way of finishing that or, nothing at all. But not the precursor to opening the door. Way too much tell. Let your readers decide.

      Still, you wrote a good solid story that kept my interest and never to me revealed the reason they are hiding, Masterfully done.

      Roy

    5. Hi Mark,

      A good story that does not give itself away. You could in fact have made the last word, “Surprise!”. It would still work as, at that moment, your readers would understand.

      Nice stuff. Well done.

      Kind regards,

      Ken Frape

    6. Absolute tense moments..waiting for the mayhem to come.. never saw it coming…scared right into a laugh…

    7. Clever twist!
      In a matter of an hour, the good dad-in-law, albeit arthritic, churns out a spooky story!
      I agree, the reveal could have been bit more subtle!
      Well done!

    1. Ken M.,

      I managed to miss the entire plot and story you’re telling here. I’ll give it a shot later and see if it makes any sense. Not a lot of show or tell in this one.

      Sorry man. Gotta call ’em as I see ’em.

      Roy

      1. Well, there’s usually more intrigue in what is left unsaid than in what is said…

        For one thing I beat Hemingway at his own game, here. THIS is the shortest story ever (not) written. Ernest’s six-word story now seems epic long, compared to this one. I was going to say six times longer, but one can’t even multiply properly by zero!

        Now I hold the historical world record…

        (but then there’s Juergen, who might still somehow think of something even shorter!)

        1. Ken M.,

          You are aware that Hemingway never wrote that six word story, aren’t you? He just made that up. There is printed evidence someone else, now unknown, did it long before Hemingway said he did. We took a run at that several years ago on this site and discussed it in quite a bit of detail, and then based a series of stories on the same premise using the six words as the prompt. Some people wrote sad stories and others wrote positive ones, based on those six words. Funny, what prompts can mean to some and others run in a completely different direction.

          Such as in your case. I’m just stuck in the mud sort of writer, and take the prompts literally most of the time, and am always jealous of people who come up with something so ingenious so quickly.

          Roy

    2. You beat me to it, Ken! LOL Except I thought of submitting a story consisting of a lot of blank spaces. Now I actually have to think of something … 🙂

    3. Ken,
      the title is way over the top. Too wordy. You might want to go with something like, ‘Shh.’ Or, ‘Tinggggg.’ Just a suggestion. The flashback threw me off for a moment but the good news is that there’s room for a sequel. Lots of room.

  6. BLOWN AWAY

    The screaming is the baby’s. Since day one. It feels like there hasn’t been a minute in the last year when he hasn’t been screaming. She’s tried everything: when he rejected her breast, formula. He took that better, but it didn’t stop the screaming. He seems hungry all the time. And tired. But he sleeps little, because he’s so hungry. The doctor said it was a phase. She changed doctors. The current one agrees. Be patient, he says. He doesn’t have to live with the little bag of screams, though.

    The baby’s still screaming when her husband gets home.

    “Can’t you stop that bloody racket!” he says.

    “Don’t you think I’ve tried?!” she says.

    He starts shouting.

    “Well you haven’t tried hard enough, have you? Do your bloody job, woman!”

    “You try! You’ll see!”

    “I’m not its mother!”

    “You’re not anything!”

    He hits her. A punch. She staggers, mouth agape and bleeding. He doesn’t say sorry. He doesn’t curl his arm around her to comfort her. He stomps over to the sound system and puts on one of his heavy metal albums. Loud. To drown out the screaming.

    The lead guitar shrieks, the bass throbs, the drums crash. The singer roars his unintelligible message. The baby opens his lungs to compete.

    A new noise. A rhythmic pounding. On the wall. The neighbours. Pounding. Pounding.

    The screaming. The music. The pounding.

    She puts her hands over her ears. It shuts it all out a little, but not enough.

    Her husband slumps into his armchair, foot tapping, but not in time to the music. She stands in front of him. Yells.

    “Turn it off! Turn it off!”

    He glares at her, eyes cold. No love there. Not anymore.

    “Please!” she begs.

    He gets up, goes over to the system. Turns the volume up. The predominant sound now, the screaming second, the pounding a close third.

    She flees to the kitchen, slams the door behind her. The noise is muffled slightly. She puts her arms out to support herself against the counter, her head drooping, staring at the floor. No solace in the tiles. Without thinking, she turns on the coffee grinder. The whirring-screech of the machine adds a new feature to the soundscape. She switches it off immediately.

    And laughs. But there’s no mirth in her laughter. She knows what to do, and not for the first time. She takes her coat, hanging on a chair, dons it and leaves.

    Out in the chill evening, the bedlam seems far away, but there’s a new din: their house is under the flightpath from the airport. A large jet rumbles over and up, its engines seemingly straining to lift its massive weight. She hurries away, seeking to escape from the house and the plane; she succeeds with one, the noise from the house receding with each hurried step. But the plane’s rumble stays with her, even though it’s now high in the sky and blinking away towards its destination.

    Now she feels the pain in her mouth; the cold air tells her a tooth is broken. A sharp intake of breath only makes matters worse as the air flows over the cracked molar. She quickens her step with suddenly renewed resolve.

    Her road joins the High Street. Early evening pandemonium. Traffic backed up. Horns honking. The air-brakes of buses and trucks hissing malevolently.

    There’s a match tonight. A group of fans bustle past her, jostling, chanting their imbecilic encouragement to their team; the game hasn’t even started yet. They march away, happy in their ugly discordance.

    She reaches where she wants to be and walks down the concrete ramp, past the barrier.

    The lift smells of urine and vomit. It creaks and groans as it rises, slowly, inevitably. The number 5 lights up on the display and the doors shudder open.

    Up here, the commotion of the street is distant but there. The plane’s rumble is still with her, joined by the whine of a smaller plane, soaring into the evening sky. A car, moving much too fast, sweeps past her, rubber squealing as it turns at the end of the row.

    Now there’s also a banging inside her head. Accompaniment to the sharp click-clack of her shoes on concrete, and the other dreadful cacophony. The banging impels her forward.

    No drama here. No ‘should I?’ and lengthy hesitation. She clambers onto the parapet and steps off.

    And for two or three precious seconds, the air, rushing past her ears, blows all the chaos away.

    .

    1. Well done Phil Town. I could easily envision the cacophony thanks to your smooth writing. I thought the ending was perfect. Thanks for a great read. One quick Q- what is compound in reference to feeding a baby? Is it what we call formula — essentially manufactured food for babies — here in the U.S.?

        1. Eerily good Phil. Well done and I could visualise the characters. Wondered what happened to the poor baby though with parents like that.

    2. Blown away (in a different meaning from title 😜), by your ability to transport me, as a reader, into the scene in a way that I felt the need to escape too from the scene!
      👏

      1. Thank you, Ela. That was exactly my intention, so I’m glad it worked for you (though not in a very pleasant way, I imagine).

    3. Phil,

      Well done, old friend, well done. Palpable tension, and, for me, a surprise ending. The surprise was she didn’t take the baby with her. Or, would that have been too much for you? Post partum depressed women usually damage others, not themselves. Of course, with the old man she has, I can understand it’s more than just baby woes.

      One of the best lines ever written, IMHO, on this site: He doesn’t have to live with the little bag of screams, though.

      Hit me like a punch on the chin. Excellent job. I felt like I was in an episode of ‘Calling the Midwife’ a year after one of the births, which by the way, is an excellent show. Again, IMHO, and it is definitely my wife’s favorite show on the Telly.

      Roy

      1. Thank you, Roy.

        (Never watched a complete episode of ‘Call the Midwife’, tbh. I kind of had the idea it was strictly for women … but if you recommend it, maybe I’ll take a look!)

    4. Hi Phil,

      A wonderfully evocative story of domestic bullying, abuse. It takes a tremendous amount of angst to make a mother abandon her baby and here, your description is so graphic that you can imagine the relief, the silence, the end of all that pain.

      By the by, I had a very short piece published in an anthology a couple of years ago. It was entitled, “Just another step” and it is about the despair of a man losing his job, his wife, his dignity and his home. Each part is “just another step” until he reaches the parapet of the multi-storey car park.

      Your story is a far better version of that sense of despair.

      Great stuff, Master Phil.

      Kind regards,

      Ken Frape.

      1. Thanks once again, Ken. Your story sounds very interesting. Is there a link to it?

        (I googled it but didn’t find it. I did find an old Ofsted report. If that’s you … retroactive congratulations!)

    5. Yeh Phil, whew..no love there.. I wonder if butterflies and dandelions would make a good story…do we read for pain and trauma… do we write to cause pain, lose pain, spill grief, tell truths. Do we need victims to feel better…feel worse… so your story left me with all this wondering…oh man…I don’t know what to say… it seems so wrong to indicate like… did I like it…no it was like punch in the gut… di your words evoke this yeh… the goal of a writer to create/provoke thoughts.. emotions… that you did for sure but I didn’t enjoy it… good job well done you can write…can I have some puppy dogs and rainbows next time?/ pleassseese…

    6. I don’t really need a hug, John, but thanks. I’ve been a bit gloomy the last couple of prompts. I’ll try to be jollier next time!

      (Yep – for some, life’s a b*tch and then you die. Not fair, as you say.)

    7. Well written as usual, Phil! Masterful story telling!

      But I can’t bear this end.
      Where’s justice and fair play?
      You just let that scoundrel go free with a woman having to pay the price?
      Not allowed!
      Grrrrr!

      1. Thanks, Marien!

        Yes – no justice here … or perhaps he gains a conscience and is haunted by these events for the rest of his days?

    8. Hi Phil,

      You evoke the terror of noise in a very effective way here, Phil. Not just the noise in and of itself, but, even worse, the inescapibility from it. Well, she does find a way out in the end, but that’s hardly the most desirable way.

      The urban setting is very well portrayed, both in the form of the “modern” urbane nuclear-family home (where the mother is the only female, unassisted by grandmas, aunts, greataunts and empty-nester elderly neighbours who in more traditional setting are only too happy to help out with little bags of screams) and in the noisy screetscape, with noise emanating from everywhere, including the sky. You can also add one of those abominable pneumatic hammers digging up the tarmac…

      The way the noise transfoms into violence and then pain (in her mouth) is my favourite aspect of the story. That’s very well done too.

      I sort of predicted the ending, way ahead (also perhaps because I had indeed read, some time ago, the step by step story from Ken Frape – I don’t remember where I read it. I thought it was in here. But maybe he had emailed it to me, but I remember it very well, as it was a very well crafted story, too. It was also from an upper deck of a car-park that the protagonist there jumped off, so I admit, I was a little bit tipped when I read ‘Blown Away’ and your woman walked into a multistorey carpark).

      There is no redemption in your story, and I’m fine with that. Life is not Hollywood (good endings). It’s very much like in your story, at times. Oftentimes, alas. Hollywood style stories do us a great disservice in feeding us the illusion that justice and fairness always reign at the end of the day, in this world. But they really often don’t.

      But then there is actually a little redemption: those two or three seconds of freedom (and silence), as she goes down… And the way the father is now left totally alone in dealing with the bag of screams, too.

      Cheers!
      Ken

      1. Thanks, KenM, for your thoughtful response. I had in fact considered including a jack-hammer but decided against it on the grounds that it might be over-egging the pudding a little.

        It’s the second time in a couple of weeks that I’ve managed to ‘step’ on the toes of another writer by apparently re-treading a story they’ve done, but I promise it’s completely inadvertent … especially as I’ve never read KenF’s. (I HAD read Roy’s cemetery story, but I’d forgotten that one and any similarities were entirely subliminal.)

        Thanks again!

        1. Hi Phil,

          You are being too harsh with yourself. There is no implied suggestion from me that my toes have been trodden on and that you have retreaded a story of mine. In any case, a suicide taking place from the parapet of a tall building is hardly unique so I cannot claim ownership. My story was completely different to yours and, specifically, my subject did not jump but was rescued by his daughter.

          Regards,

          Ken ( not trodden on or retreaded in any way) Frape.

          1. Sorry if I implied you had said that, KenF. I was kinda reflecting on how I feel, rather than what people have said. And you’re right about the suicide from a high building. In fact, as someone once said, there ARE no new stories really (though I’m not sure I entirely agree).

            (btw – I sent you an e-mail.)

  7. CLAPTRAP
    by Ken Miles
    (1,200 words)

    “It’s that one nasty little word in English, that’s the cause of all of our problems! It’s the shortest, tiniest, thinnest, most hatefully disgusting word in our language…”

    Anone Y. Mous, Jr. rants on, in his typical monotone, his austere face peeking out of every television screen in the country.

    No-one else these days has attained such a firm presence in everyone’s living-room than Mr. Mous, longtime champion of Do-Gooders International and now presidential candidate on behalf of the Party of Absolute Gentleness and Correctness, a serious contender to both the Democrats and Republicans for the top job in the country.

    “If we eliminate that one heinous word, take out from our alphabet that very one letter that constitutes it, we’ll become the Nation we’ve always wanted to be.”

    He clears his throat and then goes on: “Let’s remove the word “I” from our language, the letter “i” from our alphabet! ‘I’ is the word of egoism, egocentrism. We even capitalize it! That’s the kind of importance each one of us gives to oneself! We are perilously in love with ourselves!”

    He takes out a white handkerchief from his pocket to wipe his foaming mouth, and then continues, only now raising his voice a little.

    “Let’s kill it! Let’s uproot the very notion of selfishness right there where it all starts, in the words we use. Let’s become better people, the people we really ought to be!”

    The crowd at the Convention cheers and claps.

    “No more ‘I’! No more ‘I’!” they chant as they hug one another, in an orgy of communal ardor. They all take selfie upon selfie to make sure that they will be remembered for being there on this historical day on which the self has been declared dead and a new era of communal correctness is born.

    At first, it’s all voluntary – the party zealots are first to speak and write without ever using the letter ‘i’ anymore. The Correctworld Dictionary takes out the word ‘I’, and then the letter ‘i’ altogether. It rides on the popular sentiment and its sales soar. Other dictionaries follow suit soon. There is no word or letter anymore to refer to one’s own self.

    People who never cared about these things soon drop their ‘i’s too. Nobody wants to sound weird. To use that vicious letter has become taboo. Only vulgar oddballs still utter ‘i’ after ‘i’. Well-meaning people don’t want to sound like them. Some punks use ‘i’s deliberately, just to annoy, to rebel. Graffiteros now spray ‘i’s in every form and color on walls in cities across the nation. The taboo clearly isn’t enough.

    With President Mous now in power, the ‘i’ becomes outrightly illegal. Anyone found guilty of using ‘i’s could now face harsh pr_son sentences. We’re not tak_ng any chances, you see. The r_sks are too ser_ous.

    Next to go are the exclamat_on mark, wh_ch the Party of Absolute Gentleness and Correctness des_gnated as the most outrageous symbol of anger. Then the quest_on mark goes too, for _t’s a sign of people not _n the know, an affront to conf_dence.

    Fresh from all th_s success and popular_ty, the Party of Absolute Gentleness and Correctness proposes to remove another yet gr_evous word: the word that’s used when f_ngers are po_nted, the word of accusat_ons, the word at the roots of hatred. The word ‘you’ has to go.

    This word def_nes master and slave – ‘you do th_s, you do that’ – and has no place _ n our c_v_l_zed gentle nat_on. For good measure, the letters “y”, “o” and “u” w_ll go too, so that no-one w_ll ever have the means to utter that hatef_l w_rd aga_n,. There’ll n_w be no viable term that separates the pers_n talk_ng from the pers_n l_sten_ng. Wh _ needs th_se three letters an_wa_ (exclamat_ _n mark rem_ved).

    Next in line are ‘us’ and ‘them’ the su_rces _ f s _ m_ch tr_ _ ble and d_v_s_on _ n th _ s w _ rld. There were pr _ tests, and _ t was dec _ ded to keep ‘them’ – _ t’s an altru _ st _ c term, after all. _ t can sta _. But “us” has t_ g _.

    ‘He’ and ‘she’? ‘Eqalt Warrrs’ (f_rmerl_ ‘Equality Warriors’ ) want these two w _ rds that spell gender d _ scr _ m _ na t_ _ n g _ne _ nce and f _ r all.

    ‘He’ and ‘she’, ‘s’, ‘h’ and ‘e’ ar_ n_w unlawful and an _ on _ _ _ _ u _ _ _ th _ _ _ _ _ g _ n _ t _. All _ h _ r _ ma_n_ng l_tt_r _ _ f th _ alphab _ t w _ ll van _ _ h _ n du _ t _ m _. Mark m _ w _ rd _.

    At l _ ng la _ t w _’ r _ ab _ _ l _t _ l _ p _ l _ t _ call _ c _ rr _ ct.

    _ _ c _ n _ ardl _ talk an _ m _ r_.

    And t _ _r _ n _ b _ _ nd _. N _ xt t _ b _ f _ rb _ dden _ s alm _ _ t _ v _ r _ _ t _ _ r l _ tt _ r. B _ a _

    _ _ _ _ _ _ ll _ a _ _ a _ d _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ l n _ _ _ c _ _ _.

    _ p _ _ _ _ _ d_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ v r_ _ _ , _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. A_ _ _ t_ _ _ k _n _ _ _ _ _ _ _

    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ l _ : _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .

    _ _ n_ x_ _ _ p_ _ pl _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ , _ _ _ _ v _ _ . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ; _ _

    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . _ _ _ _ pp _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .

    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ , _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ( _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ). _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

    _ _ _ v _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .

    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ “_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ( _ _ ) .

    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

    _ _ _ _ .

    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ , _ _ _ _ _ _ _ , _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.

    _ _ _, _ _ _ _ _ , _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .

      1. Hi Trish. Thanks for your nice words. Yes, this is very much about current events and trends, some of which are quite disturbing (like the Cancel Culture “movement”). See my comment to John Mansfield below, where I explain this further…
        Ken

      1. Thanks for your nice words, Ken! (yes, I filled in the blanks).

        Wow, I got a British schoolmaster to say the f-word himself – that’s an achievment in and of itself! Okay, okay, I know you’re not at all the prissiest British schoolmaster out there, lol. But still… 🙂

        Ken

    1. G– K-n
      Th-t’s gr–t. W- r–ll- -nj—d th-t st-r-. — h-v- m- v-t- f-r th- m-st cr–t-v- -ppr–ch. — sh–ld wr-t- – l-ng n-v-l -b–t th- m–n-ng -f l-f-. -k!

      1. Hi Ilana… oh you’ve put me through what I must have put all the readers through with my partially blanked out words, given me some of my own medicine! It took me quite some time and effort to decipher your comment. But I get it now. Thanks again – and yes, a novel would be nice, but with full fully-written words on most of its pages, or I’d make some people go crazy… 🙂

        “We really enjoyed the story”, you said?

        ‘We’ as in Royal Plural or whatever it’s called? (Also to avoid using the despicable tiniest, thinnest word ‘I’?)

        Or do you mean the goats TOO enjoyed my story? That would be exciting for me to know that I’ve interested members of other species (more adorable than ours in many ways) in one of my stories! Haha!

        Ken

    2. 👏
      Taking selfie upon selfie to celebrate the abolishment the “self”…gotta be my favourite part! 😜

      1. Hi Kirsten, haha “there are no words!” Short and sweet, but says it all (and I’m taking it as a compliment). It could even be an alternative title to this story. Maybe better than “Claptrap”…
        Ken

    3. Like _ sa_d earl+er, Mr. M_les, Well done. After struggling through that one sentence, I realize how much time it took you to write your story. I’m in awe.

      Roy

      1. Roy in awe? That takes some doing! I’m very pleased you liked my piece to that extent, Roy.
        Hey, say Ken not Mr.-this-or-that (or I’d call you Sir!)
        Ken

    4. I is often the first thing I notice with articles. I have often counted the I’s in and article and then I send a note to the author letting them know I feel they have way to many I’s in the article/story/autobiography and I suggest they reword sentences containing I’s as I am distracted with too many I’s. Meanwhile Claptrap is total genius.. I recently read an article about the use of sign language could be beneficial to all.. but I wonder if there is a sign for I of course there must be or how would I or anyone for that matter indicate me, which would be you and me or is it you and I….

      1. Hi Liz, thanks for your nice words on “Claptrap”, much appreciated.

        True, articles and books that are infested with the (“tiniest, thinnest”) word “I” do seem uninspired, to say the least.

        I (oops!) took note, as expressed in my story, of the fact that in English we even capitalize the word “I” (in self-importance?).

        In other languages I (oops again!) know or have some knowledge of (Italian, French, Spanish…), the word for “I” is always written in small letters, while the word(s) for “you” are capitalized (at least in the polite form of the language). That shows quite a difference in attitude, I (oops yet again!) think…

        Ken (with three I’s in a four-sentence comment!!)

    5. Hi John, thanks for reading and commenting. I was actually expecting more comments like yours, given the world we’re living in, especially reactions in the vein of the last line in your comment. I admit I had to look up who Rod Serling was (as he was already gone by around the time I even surfaced on this earth myself!) I also did not live the Sixties, so I’m not too familiar with what speculative fiction from those times was like. My story is very much about the Cancel Culture mentality that has crept upon us in our times. I read that Serling himself, back in the day, had a lot of his work blanked out for the sake of censorship. He also, on the other hand, worked hard through his own activism and film/TV/radio work to bring about equality and eliminate bigotry in society. I find it quite ironic that this very valid battle for equality and against bigotry has by our times reached the point of attempting to silence just about everyone and everything, and on certain topics kill the debate itself rather than taking the debate places where it would serve the good causes. That’s what Claptrap is really about. In spite of the apparent freedom of the internet age, we have now reached a point in literature and the arts that is quite (albeit moderately) comparable to the situation in the former Soviet Union – political correctness (the “new Communism”) is blanking us out slowly but steadily. “Respectable” literature has to get the approval of the correctness police to get anywhere, while real, raw literature has to go the “samizdat literatura” (underground literature) way if it doesn’t want to get blasted at source…

      Thanks again for putting forward your point, so that I got the chance to explain that!
      Ken

  8. The Sound Of?

    “Where am I? What has happened?” I thought to myself.

    “Darkness, soundless, senseless. And, painless.”

    “It feels as if I’m floating in the black.”

    “Black what?” I wonder.

    How much later? There was no way of telling, but grey emerged from the centre of black. The grey circle grew slowly, but it got bigger. I could not stop it.

    “Do I want it to stop?”

    It grew, becoming less grey as if light broke the morning. I could see! A white ceiling stared down at me, motionless, shadowless. But something.

    I could not speak. My mouth did not open. A shadow moved across the ceiling, then another. My head moved sideways. Everything was pristine white, a gurney, a cabinet, clean and shiny, empty shelves and a white wall. My head, once again staring ahead at the ceiling. But what is that? A white-coated armpit stretched across my vision. Then a talking head appeared in front of me. His lips were moving, opening and closing, not chewing, speaking.

    He was talking to me, asking something. His clear perspex facial shield moved aside to be replaced with another. This time a female. She was talking too.

    She signalled with her fingers, one, two, three. I tried to nod. Maybe my eyes glinted, I don’t know. As a reward, they turned me to the right.

    “What is that?”

    A headless body, motionless, lay relaxed.

    “Where is his head,” I wondered.

    Blackness swamped me.

    “What happened? Was it something I did?”

    The grey reappeared, spreading quicker this time. I could see again. And I could blink, not slowly and soft one eye as in a wink, but more mechanically, up and down, both eyes at once. At least I could see.

    “What is that feeling?”

    A mouse silently moving in my head, I have moved again. This time I could see a desk. On the wall was a clock, eleven-fifty-five, I noticed and a date. Twenty-first of the fourth month, of the two thousand and seventy-second year.

    “Christ, where have I been?”

    Once more they lost me in black. As if awakening, I looked at legs and a lithe body, not mine.

    The two faces were mouthing at me again. Mouthing and pointing.

    I nodded, Christ, I can nod?

    They smiled. The female grabbed an iPad and scrawled a question.

    “Can’t you hear?”

    I shook my head.

    The two heads bobbing in deep conversation. They helped me to a sitting position.

    I had arms, legs, they moved, my fingers waggled, under my control. I smiled. Then I felt my face. It wasn’t me. Soft, rubbery, and hairless.

    They were talking again, excited children on Christmas morning.

    The iPad thrust in my face.

    “Welcome back to the world!”

    “What about my ears?” I typed.

    “A hitch, we are working on it,” hastily typed.

    “I thought I would be hungry or thirsty after an operation?” I typed.

    “No need for food or water,” she typed.

    “What?”

    “Look in the mirror, over there,” she pointed.

    Unsteadily I wobbled from the slab, one leg in front of the other, I made my way across the room.

    “No drink? No food? No sex? Can I go back to sleep?”

    “No need for sleep,” she mouthed.

    The END

    1. Perfectly Twilight Zone- ish Colin D. Very creepy and well done. I wanted to read more of your very creative story…

    2. You have the dialogue prize from me. I just wanted to see something in the mirror though.

    3. Sorry, I don’t really get it. I’ve read it a few times, and I think I understand the concept but it jumps about a little bit too much for me, which detracts from the story. Just my opinion though.

    4. Looks like you’re new here, Colin. Welcome to the club. I agree with everyone else. You did a “Twilight Zone” story that never ended. BTW, you don’t need to write THE END when the stories are finished. That fact there aren’t any more words gives us that clue. That’s why I suspect you’re new to this and to this writing thing. If I’m wrong, simply fill me in, but I detect newness in your writing. Little things like, ‘A hitch, we are working on it,” hastily typed. Why is it hastily typed? Either way hastily has absolutely nothing to do with the story.

      What was the purpose of the mirror if you aren’t going to share what the protagonist sees? I think that’s what killed the ending for some. It did for me. I was disappointed there was no reaction after seeing whatever it is that he’s supposed to see.

      Still, you kept me interested. I just would have liked a more conclusive ending, even a bad one. There are so many unanswered questions, now. Which is good, but I would have liked to have seen something that didn’t leave me flat and wish there was more, instead of something leaving me wanting more because it was so good.

      Roy

    5. Hi Colin,

      There is nothing wrong with your writing, grammar and punctuation and the dialogue is good too. However, I waited until the comments were in so that I could pick the brains of other readers. I have to say that, sadly, I don’t get it. Perhaps it a sci-fi genre that I don’t read or perhaps you have a cunning plan that I am not clever enough to see.

      Sorry about that but, whatever you do, keep writing and educate me.

      Kind regards,

      Ken Frape.

    6. Colin, I liked this, a little gruesome at first but left a lot to the reader’s mind to fill in the gaps.. pretty sure it’s a human head grafted on to a silicone robot body. The unsaid seemed to say more than the dialogue. although the dialogue was handled aptly. good job, Liz

  9. Permission to speak?

    by Ken Frape.

    The Abbey’s one and only pet, Aldric the black cat, glides along the polished stone floor of the cloisters, his padded feet soundless in the late afternoon gloom. In the silence that blankets St. Barnabus Abbey the monk who walks beside Aldric also makes no sound, his feet on the cold floor cushioned by soft woolen socks, his one and only luxury. The monk, Brother Absolom, is deep in contemplation, his hands thrust inside the folds of his cloak and his face, inside his cowl, hidden in shadow. His brow is furrowed in concentration, or perhaps concern.

    Brother Absolom is wrestling with a problem that has been on his mind for months. The Abbey of St. Barnabus is a silent order. Voices are only raised towards Heaven in the singing of hymns in the chapel. It is Lent, a time for sacrifice when the remnants of food in the larder must be used up before a period of abstinence. At this time, any monk but only one monk, may request to speak to the gathered brothers regarding any matter of concern. Brother Absolom has made it known to The Abbott that he wishes to speak. That decision is making him sick with worry. His prayers have not helped so he has placed himself in God’s hands.

    In the refectory, there is very little of the clink and clatter associated with cutlery and crockery being used. A single cough echoes around the cavernous, rising in the high ceilinged hall, like a bird seeking escape. The silence of no spoken words seems to permeate every aspect of the brothers’ lives. Except that this day is special and every robed brother in the refectory is aware that Brother Absolom has been granted the opportunity to speak. No monk has asked for this for the past seven years and whilst the brothers are both surprised and puzzled not one of them is even thinking of leaving until he has heard the words.

    Brother Absolom has taken his usual seat and Aldric has taken his, curled up around his warmly-socked feet. Once the midday meal has been eaten the dishes and plates and cutlery are washed and stacked for the next meal. It is a smooth and practiced process, as ingrained as Matins or Compline. The brothers have returned to their seats once more, their hands resting in their laps, their eyes looking down but their ears are focused upon Brother Absolom. Even Aldric joins in, springing lightly onto the window sill, watching the kind and gentle brother who adopted him as a stray kitten three years ago.

    Abbott Anselm looks towards Absolom and gives him a brief nod. Absolom swallows quickly, sweat beading his brow. His voice cracks at first as he starts to say the words he has rehearsed so many times in his cell. He clears his throat and starts again, his voice thin and reedy,

    “Abbott Anselm, fellow brothers, it pains me to have to speak even one word but in all conscience, I have to tell you that Brother Michael has not been sharing out the porridge portions evenly and without favour.”

    As Absolom sits, hands in his lap, Aldric scurries off to the kitchen, suddenly more interested in his own lunch. If it is possible, the silence deepens and several pairs of eyes even turn towards the rotund figure of Brother Michael, the server, his tonsure gleaming as always like a polished bowling ball. He remains seated, head down, still, until, at a signal from the Abbott, all the brothers leave, one by one, to afternoon work. It is as if a stone has been dropped into a pool and now the ripples have disappeared. But still waters run deep. As the monks file out Aldric scurries out to take his place once more by Brother Absolom’s side.

    Brother Absolom’s words remain imprinted in the minds of the monks as the year rolls on, their daily routine unchanged, unchallenged, never faltering. They know that such an accusation, as indeed that was what it was, will almost certainly provoke a response. As Lent approaches once again, the silent Chinese whisper tells all that Brother Michael has asked to speak. Thus, exactly one year later Brother Michael stands in the presence of the assembled brothers. He runs a hand over his shiny pate and the other around his ample stomach, his eyes wide and anxious.

    “That is not true,” he says in the deep baritone voice that others have only heard in choir. “I always give everyone the same, equal and fair share.”

    Abbott Anselm recognizes that he now has a problem that will require much prayer and contemplation. Each of the two brothers will want to speak again, as is their right unless another brother asks first but as the year progresses, no one does. Thus, a year later, Brother Absolom repeats his accusation and a year later, Brother Michael repeats his plea of innocence as Eldric sits and listens with the brothers.

    Times passes slowly as the seasons turn and turnabout and the monks’ lives follow the same patterns as they always have but they can all count and they all know that fifteen years have passed since Brother Absolom first stood to speak. Thus, the sense of excitement is palpable as the news circulates that it will not be Brother Michael repeating his defence but another brother has asked to speak.

    No one has ever heard Brother Celestus speak. Even in choir his voice does not ascend the heights of the other voices and those who choose to look closely might even determine that he was miming. But he does have a voice.

    “Abbott Anselm, fellow brothers, it saddens me to tell you that I have decided that I must give up Holy Orders and leave this monastery.” He sits.

    This is a rare and shocking announcement. Monks very rarely leave The Abbey unless in a wooden box. If this was anything other than a silent order, there would be a ripple of conversation in the refectory but in this Abbey, their response must be silence.

    The following year, Abbott Anselm takes the most unusual, nay, unprecedented step of letting it be known that he, The Abbott, intends to speak.

    “Brother Celestus, your words sadden me,” the Abbott begins. “ Your presence here for the past thirty years has become part of the fabric of our community. Your writings in the scriptorium with the illustrated texts are indeed works of art, praise God. Can you tell us, your fellow brothers, the reason why you must leave us?”

    One more year passes and Brother Celestus rises wearily to his feet once more, his ancient knees creaking with age. Aldric remains curled up at Brother Absolom’s warm feet. He feels the cold more and his eyesight has dimmed so that he rarely catches any mice these days. He opens one eye briefly as Brother Celestus’ voice is heard as he says,

    “Abbott Anselm, I ask for your blessing and permission to leave. The reason I must leave is that I cannot stand this constant bickering.”

    1. Ken Ff.,

      A well done version of one of my all time favorite jokes. Along with this gem: Without elaborating as you so excellently did, it’s the story of the monk, Brother John, who after 50 years of service to the monastery is allowed to spend his remaining years in the tower in complete and absolute silence studying the very religion to which he had devoted his life. For 20 years, and nearing the end, tired, old and frail, he studied diligently never ever uttering a single sound. Not even a cough. Then, late one evening, the monks in the monastery heard a terrible scream. “NOOOOOOOO!” from the tower. After not hearing a sound for 20 years they feared the worst. They all rushed to the tower where they found Brother John holding an ancient manuscript. “WHAT IS IT?” they shouted in unison. Tears in his eyes, Brother John held up the manuscript and said, “IT’S NOT CELIBATE – IT’S CELEBRATE!”

      I almost succumbed to doing this joke as you did, since I could have invoked the “Silence” prompt, but thought I would spare the group. But, I have others, and there are other prompts in the future. Just fair warning.

      Well done, Ken F. and it was nice to see a bit of fluff on these pages, especially after reading the story by Phil Town, which sent me into a fugue. Now I have to start thinking how I can remake my other jokes into stories. Hmmmm….

      Roy

      1. Hi Roy,

        Thanks for that. I had forgotten about the celibate / celebrate joke but it is a good one. In this instance, I felt that I had been quite serious recently ( blame Covid) so I thought I might try something different. Obviously, I had to pad things out a bit.

        Loved “The Silent Treatment” and in fact, if my judgement is worth a jot, it will come top or very near the top. It should.

        Kind regards,

        Ken Frape.

    2. Ken F, yes it was funny I would not have been able to allow the year spans.. maybe biannual or quarterly just for a faster pace … waiting a year was just agonizing.. Liz

    3. Hi Ken,

      Your story did transport me to the fabulously silent world of cloistered monks. Aldric’s soft paws and Absolom’s soft socks treading silently along the smooth tiles of the monastry is so evocative – just that bit sets the whole scenery (visual and aural) of the story. It’s great in its effective simplicity.

      But then we get to find out that this silent world is not as peaceful as we originally thought it was. There is intrigue there, too, like elsewhere in the world. The way controversies are discussed over the years: a comment is made and then has to wait for a whole year to get a reply, evokes both the peacefulness of this setting but also a certain nervousness in having to wait things out for so long. Well, that tension did flip out Brother Celestus in the end.

      That ending came as a pleasant surprise to me. I was on a detective trail to find out what happened to the missing porridge (I think cat Aldric had to do something with that!), but instead you totally misdirected me towards a totally different and pleasantly humorous (but also sad in some ways) outcome.

      Well done! It’s a story with palpable underlying tension and a continuous thread of humour throughout. Happily married to one another.

      The monks’ way of life (particularly their instant-messaging system with 365-day delays!) is an elegant antitode to our hyperconnected world that is Zucking out the life juices from many people nowadays…

      Btw. I mentioned you in my comment to Phil’s story “Blown Away”, above. I thought I’d let you know…

      Cheers!
      Ken

      1. Hi Ken M,

        Thanks for your kind words and yes, I did see your other comment to Phil. I just tracked back in the files and realised that I did a longer version for this site under the prompt “Weathering the storm.” My piece was called “Just another step” and it placed 2nd.

        I spent ages on this site yesterday intending to write reasonably detailed comments upon each story. Sadly, the system kept freezing until I had to call it a night. It can be a real time-consuming task to read and write positive critiques but I’m sure we all see how useful this is for most of us as we strive to write and improve our writing.

        Cheers,

        Ken Frape.

  10. Sweet Revenge
    An awkward silence unfolded between them. Polly hadn’t meant to drop the bombshell this early on in their meeting, but her resolve snapped the moment she saw Dexter enter the restaurant. She recognised him instantly. That same self-assured swagger. The same smarmy smile at the waitress showing him to his table.
    His eyes lit up as he approached her. ‘You must be Polly. Hi, I’m Dexter.’ He held his hand out to shake hers.
    ‘Hi,’ she said, hoping her nerves didn’t show.
    She studied him as he took his jacket off, shook out the creases and placed it on the back of his chair before sitting down. His hair was greying around the temples, there were a few wrinkles around his eyes, and he was bulging out of his shirt in a way he hadn’t done thirty years ago, but otherwise he had changed very little.
    He poured himself a glass of red wine without asking if she minded. She found his confidence galling.
    ‘So, Polly. I guess this is where we tell each other something interesting about ourselves and see if the computer was right. Ladies first.’
    She took a large gulp of wine. ‘We’ve met before.’
    ‘Oh? Have we? Well, you definitely have the advantage over me there. I don’t want to seem rude, but you might need to give me a clue. Don’t take it personally, I’m just useless at putting faces to names.’
    ‘We knew each other at school.’
    ‘Really? God, that’s going back a bit. Are you sure?’
    ‘Yes. How many Dexter Zolinskis are there?’
    ‘True. I still don’t…’
    Polly gripped her wine glass and fixed him with her steely blue eyes ‘Roly Poly Polly. How’s that for a clue? I think you were the creative genius who came up with that highly original nickname. Hats off to you though, it stuck. Remember me now?’
    Dexter shifted in his seat. Polly enjoyed watching him squirm as the silence settled between them. She was an introvert and comfortable with silence. Dexter on the other hand, was nowhere as near comfortable with it. He looked away, fiddled with his shirt sleeves, loosened his tie, and ran his hand through his hair, but to his credit, he blushed.
    ‘I didn’t recognise you. I mean…Sorry. That wasn’t the best thing to say. I’ve never been known for my tact.’ He paused and took a large gulp of wine. ‘Jeez Polly, what can I say? I’m sorry, truly I am, but that was so long ago. I was a cocky teenager and probably said lots of things to lots of people, not just you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not excusing it, but I was a different person back then. We all were.’
    ‘Don’t worry about it. You probably did me a favour.’
    He frowned.
    ‘If it hadn’t been for you bringing my fatness to everyone’s attention and humiliating me so publicly, I might never have done anything about it. So, cheers for that.’ She raised her glass to him.
    Her cheeks burned and her insides churned at the memory of the taunting. The jeering. The cutting remarks. As a child she had developed a coping mechanism of staying in the background and had managed to go virtually unnoticed amongst her peers, until year five, when Dexter Zolinski, the most popular boy at school had noticed her. Most girls would have been flattered.
    ‘Well, that’s one way of looking at it I suppose. You look fantastic by the way. I really wouldn’t have recognised you.’
    She hated these back-handed compliments. You look so much better. You always had such a bonny face. Even her own father had said I always knew there was a thin lass waiting to get out. Ironically, she was also addicted to them. Where once she was addicted to food, she now thrived on expressions of admiration on her fantastic achievement and appearance. She felt disappointment when none where forthcoming and resolved to try harder. Eat less. Do more exercise. Make people notice.
    ‘So. What now?’ Dexter broke the silence. ‘I’m guessing this date isn’t just a good computer match? Is it some sort of revenge thing?’
    ‘No! It was pure co-incidence that your name popped up. Obviously, I knew it was you and I was curious, that’s all. It’s no big deal,’ she lied. This wasn’t about revenge. This was about looking her tormentor in the eye and making her own peace. She’d read about it somewhere, although right now, inner peace felt a long way off.
    ‘Let’s order some food. I’m starving.’ She changed the subject.
    Dexter relaxed and signalled for the waitress. ‘Sounds good to me.’
    ‘I’ll have the fish and chips, mushy peas and bread and butter, with sticky toffee pudding and ice-cream to follow,’ Polly told the waitress.
    Dexter started to say something but stopped himself mid-sentence. ‘I’ll have the same thanks.’ He refilled their wine glasses.
    Polly ate quietly, focussing on the mechanical process of eating. She cut her food into small chunks and chewed each mouthful ten times before swallowing. Her stomach heaved as the heavy, greasy food mixed with the wine. The first few mouthfuls were always the most difficult, but she knew, if she took her time, she could force more down. She would deal with it later.
    Dexter didn’t seem to notice. He droned on about himself, his work, his hobbies, occasionally pausing to check if she was listening. Polly had a mastered the art of zoning out of a conversation whilst appearing to listen.
    ‘Polly?’ She looked up to see Dexter staring at her. ‘If you don’t mind me asking, how did you err…?’
    ‘Lose all the weight?’ She knew what he was getting at. Where she had once eaten in secret, she now took great pleasure in eating copious amounts of food in public. She enjoyed remarks such as Where do you put it all? A tiny thing like you. You’re one of those lucky people who can eat whatever they like.
    ‘Ate less, moved more.’ She drained her glass.
    ‘Right. Err…Another wine? Or how about a coffee?’
    She shook her head. ‘I have an early meeting at work tomorrow. I need to get back.’
    ‘Okay. Well maybe we can do this again?’
    She stood up and gathered her jacket and handbag from her chair. ‘I’m not sure Dexter. Maybe. I need go.’ She left him to pay the bill as she headed out to hail a taxi.
    The voices started as soon as she stepped into the cool, stillness of her flat. You’re pathetic. A failure. You’ll get fat. You can’t even diet properly.
    She reached the bathroom just in time. The saliva rushed into her mouth and she felt relief wash over her as she vomited every last morsel of food she had consumed earlier.
    She washed her mouth out with water and set the timer on her phone for thirty minutes, when she could safely brush her teeth. She noticed the message on her phone.
    Well, that was different. Fancy meeting up next week? D
    She blocked the number, deleted it from her contacts and lay down on top of her bed. The voices silenced for the moment.

    1. Kirstennairn- I was rooting for Polly and I cared what happened to her. Great character study.

      1. I feel incredibly sad for Polly. She’s a very lonely person. She needs a good therapist. Very bad for you to gorge and then vomit. Also socially isolating.

    2. Kirsten, A well written story that needed something. I’m not sure what. No squabble with the writing itself. Fairly flawless. The dialogue was well done and easily believable. I guess my problem is, although she got revenge, did she win? I don’t think so, and that is my problem. And, you’re probably thinking right now, “Yep, Roy, you’re right. It is your problem.” Don’t blame you. You wrote a good story, I just wanted a different outcome, and that’s on me, not you.

      I think if you’d made him a bit more of an asshole now, and instead of apologizing, he remained his arrogant self, I might have been more in tune with the story. Good plot, just would have liked a different ending.

      If it isn’t semi-autobiographical, you did an excellent job of the protagonist’s feelings, without having been there to live it.

      Roy

    3. Kirsten,

      This is a very well written story that highlights the damage that so many people live with after being bullied at school. I hope it is not autobiographical but it reads very well. It has such a ring of authenticity.

      I can see how it might have added something else to the story if Dexter had been a real rat but I guess in real life much of the teasing and the nasty comments that go on are thoughtless rather than vindictive. Do school bullies and the like actually intend to cause a lifetime of pain to their victims? And then of course, there are the hangers-on who ape the behaviour of the cool kids and aren’t strong enough to stand up and say, “this is wrong.”

      Good writing that tackles a real issue.

      Kind regards,

      Ken Frape.

    4. Revenge and continued victimization not an attractive combination, the story was good but seemed to follow a pattern, there had been no growth in Polly and Dexter was a jerk but he seemed to acknowledge his failure in empathy/compassion whereas Polly appears to want to continue as a perpetual victim of herself.

    5. Hi Kirsten,

      I liked the pace of this story, and the way it’s rendered. The style of writing is very readable and enjoyable and both the plot and the dialogue score high points on being realistic (I think this is going to be a serious contender for our Best Dialogue Oscar this week!).

      I have no issue with the fact that Polly is not delivered from her life-tragedy by the end of your story. I don’t like it when stories are simply glossed over and given a positive ending just for the sake of it. Because in real life it’s not like that – real people don’t always resolve their problems. Life is not a Hollywood movie.

      I’m not sure about the revenge, though. True, Polly cancelled Dexter from her life, but that’s hardly vindictive compared to the lifelong damage he (and others) inflicted upon her. He’ll simply date someone else. Not that revenge is necessary in this story, mind you. It’s fine as it is. But then, the title is misleading.

      I’d also separate the paragraphs, if I were you. It would be easier to read with more white breathing space between the dialogue bits. I know, sometimes WordPress doesn’t respect Word formatting, and one has to separate paragraphs again after posting. It’s a pain, but worth the effort, I think.

      Cheers!
      Ken

      1. Thanks,. Some really constructive comments there, which I can do something about. I agree about the title- I threw it in at the end and then thought about it later- it wasn’t really a story about revenge.

  11. Once upon a time (1198 words)

    At first, I wanted to scream out but did not. I wanted to tell someone what had happened. For some reason, I never did. Now I do not regret.

    The painful secret was hidden deep. It ate at my soul. Despite trying to stifle the ache and to push the pain into some hidden recess of my mind, it tended to burst into my consciousness. A putrid pus that poured from my soul – a lanced boil that spoilt the flesh on which it spilled. I cleansed my body daily. Frequently.

    This is my story.

    I was five years old when he first came into my room. A little girl. Mummy was sick, so I had to go to my Uncle John and Aunty Jillian’s house. Daddy was busy working. Uncle John and Aunty Jillian did not have any little boys and girls. They had no children. So, it was natural that Aunty Jillian who was Mummy’s sister would take me and my baby brother Tom in to care for us. It helped Daddy who was working very hard in the mines up at Mount Isa to support us all and pay for all Mummy’s treatment.

    After Tom was born, Mummy was crying a lot. She was not the happy Mummy we used to have. She was very angry all the time. She never hurt me or Tom. But she did smack her head on the wall so much that it bled. I used to think that must hurt a lot. Why is Mummy doing that? I sometimes tried to stop her. I would grab her hand and say to her “Don’t Mummy, stop. Please, hit me Mummy, your head is bleeding. It’s hurt. Don’t hit you any more.” Sometimes she would stop and just stare at me for a long time. Other times she just pushed me away. Then she would bang, bang her head on the wall again. I would go and cuddle Tom till she stopped. She would then go to sleep and wake up ok sometimes.

    The last time I saw her she was covered in blood. She had cut herself. Yes, it was with a big knife that daddy used to cut the roast leg of lamb at dinner. Daddy said it was an accident. I don’t know. All that blood -it was scary though.

    The first time.

    I remember the door creaked as he entered. I was not quite asleep. He did not switch the light on.

    “Sally, sweetheart, I just came in to see if you were alright.” He sat on the bed near my pillow. His hand went over my back. I was sleeping on my stomach. He caressed my back first on top of my pajamas. Then he slipped his hand under my PJs and started to stroke my skin gently. I did not feel uncomfortable, but then he slipped his hand under my body and started to circle his hands around my chest and move them down to my tummy. Then further down…

    “Don’t. Don’t.” He put the finger of his free hand to his lips.

    “Shhh, Sally. Uncle John’s just helping you sleep. You’ll feel better in a moment.”

    His finger was hard. It hurt me in my wee wee place. I put my hands down and I tried to push it away. But he swiftly turned me over on my stomach and put his hand over my mouth.

    “Shush sweet little girl, be a good little girl. You will feel better in a minute. This is our secret.”
    As he said “This is our secret.” He moved his face closer to mine until his nose was nearly touching mine. “Our secret. Tell no one. Or…YOU will die. Mummy and Daddy will die. Your little brother will die.” Then his hand moved down again. And it hurt. God, it hurt me. Pain like a fire in between my legs. Tears spilled over my cheeks.

    “Shhhhh, hush baby all over in a minute.” Then he undid his pajama pants and placed the towel he had over his shoulder on his lap.
    He leaned in and whispered in my ear.

    “I’m going to let you touch something special.” He took my hand and placed it on something hard. Soft skin. It began to pulse. I began to sob more.

    “Don’t. Please don’t.” I cried a sobbing whisper. “NO!”

    “Shush, shhshshhhhhh.” He began to pant and suddenly there was wetness and he groaned. He used the towel to wipe up the wetness and then stood up to close his pajamas.

    Then he gently leaned down to kiss me.

    “Thank you, little Sally. You are a good, good little girl. Our secret. Remember.”

    I wanted to claw his face. Kick his nose. Spit in his face. He hurt me. He disgusted me. I felt dirty like rubbish. Instead, I lay like a dead thing. Silence began to soak into my soul. Silence leaked into my mind. I wanted to scream. Instead, I lay in shocked and inconsolable silence.

    The next morning.

    I was sore. I did not sleep well. I went downstairs to breakfast.

    “Sally, are you ok?” Aunt Jillian looked at me, concern etched over her face. She put up her hand to feel my forehead. “You have dark rings under your eyes. Didn’t you sleep well my pet?”

    I nodded glumly.
    “Well, let’s get you some breakfast. Then, you’ll go back to bed. Maybe you’re coming down with something?”

    Uncle John came in dressed for his day at the office.

    “Well, how’s our favourite girl this morning?” He came up to the table and tweaked my ear playfully. I wanted to slap his hand away and scream “Don’t touch me. NEVER EVER AGAIN!”

    Instead, I put my head down avoiding his eyes. Those knowing, mocking eyes. I hated him. Shame and disgust burned within, eating me up inside. I was a kangaroo caught in a hunter’s spotlight. Blinded and helpless. Silent prey.

    Then it did not finish. He came often into my room, after all were asleep. Aunty Jillian, I found out, often took sleeping pills. I am sure Uncle John slipped her extra on the nights he entered my room. She never woke.

    It ended…

    When I was nine and a half years old. I took a sharp boning knife from the kitchen into my room and slipped it under my pillow. I waited for when I knew he would come.
    I waited until he was sitting on the bed having undone his pajama pants, his erection already visible such was his anticipation. Then as he was busy his hands already between my legs, I pulled the knife out and stuck it into his penis. He shot back off the bed, his penis already flaccid and bleeding. He was gasping in pain and shock. His eyes wild he looked at me.
    “Sally, put the knife down.”
    “No, I said, half out of the bed. “Touch me again. I will cut it off.” But I smiled sweetly, my eyes cold. “Our secret. Never touch me again. EVER!”
    So now there is silence between us. He knows and I know. I will keep the knife under my pillow forever.

    1. Ilana- great writing for a story about a devastating experience. I liked how you empowered your main character in the end.

    2. Ilana,

      I’ve been a fan of yours since 2014 and you seldom fail to elicit a gut response from when you write this type of story. Not sure how much of it is autobiographical, but I’m fairly sure a good many of them, as this one just might be, are. No problem at all with the writing. Good job and will be in consideration for my top story.

      Roy

      1. Not autobiographical but I have worked with sexual abuse survivors and one thing that strikes me is the level of powerlessness that these kids and adults feel when a person who is supposed to love, nurture and protect a child, blatantly uses that little one for their own gratification and “normalises the abuse” pretending it is some sort of special bond that is ok.
        And yes there is always the question of trust that very few overcome. It’s subtle but present in any future relationship.
        I dealt with abuse by a woman called Nancy who was supposed to be caring for my late brother Christopher and myself. I was four and my brother was two. My
        Mother was 145 kms away giving birth to my younger brother.my mother probably suffered post natal depression and only formed a bond with the youngest of us three children. She was a victim of sexual abuse in foster homes in Austria I now believe which accounts for her narcissistic behaviour and inability to bond with my late brother and me. Plus there were other issues and too much to go into here.
        I am a rape survivor not a victim, but Mum said to me “It’s your own fault because …. and she would reel off a list of things that made anything that happened to me somehow “your own fault because …” so I used to think I was this utterly unloveable, horrid person. Even after an accident on a motorbike when I spent several months in hospital with a badly smashed leg she would not let me come home to her and dad to recuperate after getting out of hospital. I had to go back to the CWA hostel in Charleville until I could rent a house and also went back to work. I used to go to work on crutches about a kilometre and a half. Because of the rape which happened on the 23 rd of August 1977 the rapist and his friends often drove their cars jeering and pretending they were going to drive me over. Leaning out of their cars calling me names. I learnt to put my head down and concentrate on putting every effort into getting to work and ignoring their taunts. I spent quite a bit of time emotionally frozen. I guess that is how I coped putting myself in a different time and space. Similar to some childhood abuse survivors

        1. That’s some heavy baggage to carry, Ilana. Does the weight get any relief when you write about it, or do you relive it, and tend to shelve it? Putting it out of your mind?

          Roy

    3. Ilana. and I thought I was brave.. developing into a human with a knife under the pillow demonstrates a great deal of damage done to this child and what the future will be… she’s never going to be a victim of victimization.. but will she ever be able to trust and love and understand a loving relationship between adult and child or will she forever jump to judgement and never see innocence in the neighbor walking down the street with a child..
      a gripping tale

    4. Hi Ilana,
      A wonderfully honest and graphic piece of writing. I just wish that such a story didn’t need to be told but sadly, it does.

      Kind regards,

      Ken Frape

    5. Hi Ilana,

      Here, once again, you give us a piece that demonstrates the worst of human nature in such realistic and (alas) not-far-from-the-truth way.

      The revenge of the little girl is well-received (by the reader), even if it’s brutal. The uncle will have to explain away to the doctor (and to his wife) what happened to his manhood. He was chopping vegetables and the knife slipped? That’s if the girl kept the secret. Which I don’t think she will forever…

      I think that the story does give the impression that it’s being recounted by an adult. I hear that very young victims of such abuse understand much less of what is going than the character in your story does. With no real knowledge of sexuality, they believe that what is happening to them is normal and even appreciable. Only when they grow up they realize it was abominable. And that adds another layer to the tragedy.

      This story may gain more depth if that aspect is improved upon (the girl tries to enjoy what’s happening to her, the friendly intimate advances of her uncle. When she faces difficulty in appreciating the pain and confusion, she tries again… it can’t be that her uncle is a bad person… until it eventually dawns on her – and then the knife finally comes in…). As it is, I feel more of an adult’s rage in this story, than a child’s innocent and confused attempt to understand and tragically assimilate what is going on. But that’s just my opinion, of course.

      Incidentally, I once wrote a story along those lines (it appeared here for the ‘Travel in the Night’ prompt about a year and a half ago). The molested child “Cookie” may have felt like being the priest’s favored boy, but, as a grown up, he then knows that he had been abused and delivers his ultimate revenge to his molester.

      Cheers!
      Ken

  12. Hamsters – Peter Holmes (627 – I’ve read the other stories, and it’s abundantly obvious that I won’t get anywhere near the podium, but I wrote this after having done nothing all week, and it feels weird to not submit something if you’ve written it, so I hope I can at least put a smile on your face) (P.S. I’ll settle for a just about noticeable grin?)

    Nothingness, that’s how- nothingness is a funny word, isn’t it, wait, don’t answer that, I have to stop distracting myself, I’m going off on tangents like it’s nobody’s business, tangents is a funny- stop, get back on track, my mind is empty, searching for an idea to break the silence, yet day after day I find myself without words, I suppose that’s why my attention is stolen so easily, I’m so desperate that I’ll happily follow any mental tumbleweed that rolls past, I fruitlessly have a staring contest with my screen, the word “silence” glaring at me in bold font, for some reason, I still believe that just staring at the word will incite an idea, it may work for others, but my ideas are never forced like that, it’s always spontaneous, and it’s terrific, you know, it usually works, but not this time, the prompt is intent on beating me, sometimes it plays out in my head like an orchestra, an improvised symphony that refuses to stop, lest it lose the very thing that makes it a story, creativity, now, truth be told, my thoughts aren’t ever hushed, or muted, there’s constantly cogs whirring and tiny hamsters spinning in their wheels, unfortunately, the cogs and hamsters in no way assist the thought process, since the focus craves anything except a story, so it feels silent, alone, almost, I need a story, at least a half-formed plot, or a character to branch off from, while the blank Word Document mocks me, my hamsters are using Google Maps to see how long it would take me if I were to walk to the capital city of Azerbaijan, it’s called Baku, and if you’re curious, it’s just above nine hundred hours, although unsurprisingly I’d need some form of water travel, does it still count as walking if I take a ferry, not the point, where was I, ah, my hamsters, I fight for control of my mind, only wanting to enter a story for this prompt, personally, it doesn’t seem like too much of an ask; the hamsters are not a huge fan of it, I’ve overdone the hamster analogy, haven’t I, and I lost the cogs about ten sentences ago, perhaps taking a break would help, a few minutes of silence to refresh the mind, a slow stroll around the house, might pick up an orange or two for fuel, take a quick trip to the toilet, say hello to my brother, hello brother, alright, that’s definitely enough, I reckon it’s time to have another crack at this, let’s get back to the computer, why did I open a Word Document, I’m not doing my essays until tomorrow, so it can’t have been that, oh well, it’ll come to me sooner or later, for now I’ll just log off- the story, but I’ve got nothing to write about, I asked my friend, to no avail, as they said I should just write about college or something, clearly not an experienced writer, though I can’t judge if I’m being honest, it’s just gone silent, there’s not a single darned idea floating around this head of mine, actually, floating would be generous, floating suggests existence above water, most of them merely swim, like an endless breaststroke or butterfly, they may seriously be the only two swimming styles I know, that’s embarrassing, give me a second, I’ll get one eventually, backstroke, truthfully, there’s a lot more strokes than I expected, anyway, the story, I’m thinking something along the lines of… damn, I really thought that maybe starting that sentence would produce an idea, but never mind, how do I describe it, it’s like a void, no sign of life, pure hollowness, nothingness, that’s how- nothingness is a funny word isn’t it…

    1. Peter Holmes- great summary of writer’s block- although for me I get nothing when I’m blocked. Sigh.

    2. Ah you have a fair point, I forgot to include the multitude of bad ideas that always come to mind. It’s probably because for this prompt, I really didn’t have anything, as opposed to other prompts where I have loads of ideas, no matter how terrible they are. I don’t have the good fortune of having other writer friends, only one, and while she’s an absolutely fantastic writer, we write very different things. That being said, I think I speak for everyone when I say it’s a damn shame we can’t see space werewolf (the obvious solution is to bribe someone to make Space Creatures the next prompt).

    3. Peter, yes I absolutely can relate and stream of consciousness is my favorite form of writing as I have no other thoughts but randomness most of the time on occasion now and then and certainly enjoyed the wander through your brain, mind, abyss..well wherever you were.. Liz

      1. It’s possible that I was indirectly inspired by a book I recently bought – even though I haven’t read it yet, I’m looking forward to it, hence the inspiration. It’s called “Ducks, Newburyport”, and if you like stream of consciousness writing (and absolutely huge books…), then I recommend it.

    4. Peter,

      Someone else has already noticed stream of consciousness writing, and I did notice it was all done without any periods, just commas to break up the thoughts, although I’m not sure it needed any of those, and I did notice it was funny, but not ha-ha funny, just strange and weird funny, so all in all, a good job of writing, and who’s to say it won’t be considered to be in the top five, and I’ve discovered I like this comma stuff …having said all that, is nothingness silence?

      Roy

      1. I wrote it with periods originally (or “full stops”, as I know them), even with paragraphs, but it didn’t seem like an honest representation of the thought process until I deleted them all. “Strange and weird funny” is certainly fair, it wasn’t written for huge laughs (though I have no doubt that someone on this site could do their own version where I would laugh a lot). I appreciate the optimism, but it’s even better that I didn’t realise you’d only used commas until the end. And I considered the lack of inspiration my “silence”. Admittedly, you do have to interpret it in a specific way, but in my honest opinion, it does often feel like it’s silent when I’m trying to think of something.

    5. Hi Peter,

      I really relate to this piece of writing.
      Going back a few months before Christmas we were given a prompt about a 20th. Reunion and I could not get anything down on paper so I wrote a load of stuff about that and called it “Who killed Doris?”

      Really with you on this one but battle on my friend into the future where lots of creative energy is to be found.

      Kind regards,

      Ken Frape

      1. That’s the spirit, wonder if I’ll get something in for the enigma that is “Car on a Roof”

    6. Hi Peter, not having a story is indeed a story in and of itself! Especially when the prompt is about silence. Writer’s block is a terrible form of silence.

      I like the stream-of-cosciousness style you applied here. Quite expertly, actually.

      Cheers!
      Ken

      1. Thanks Ken, always happy to hear compliments from such a talented writer like yourself.

  13. Hi Carrie
    Just wondering why my name isn’t next to my story? Is there a message inherent in that?

    1. Ahh whoops!
      No message other than bad html when I copied and pasted!!
      Fixed now. 🙂

  14. Silence is Deaf by Liz Fisher -1054

    “So here’s the thing John”, Kathy was rehearsing what she would say finally, “I saw you last night, you didn’t know I was there, but I was.”

    Kathy lay there for a little longer thinking, and decided that was too harsh. John did know she was there he just didn’t know she heard him. She thought it had been a very long time since they had an actual conversation. Oh sure, he talked a lot but was always talking at her, not interested in what she had to say.

    She awoke with a start, it was dark, she had fallen asleep and wasn’t sure what she had done all day. There was a vague memory of her friend Marsha stopping in, but she was on her way to work and didn’t stay long. She wondered about dinner but realized she didn’t have any hunger so why bother.

    In the morning John came into her room already dressed for his shift at the Station. He was the second in charge at Oakley Fire and had 48 hour shifts. Although it seemed he was working more lately as their time together was limited.

    “Babe”, I’m being deployed to a wildfire up north, probably at least 2 weeks, I’ve talked to Marsha and she knows and will help take care of things.” As he walked to the door he turned and said, “I just wish you could tell me what’s on your mind, this silence is so frustrating.”

    Kathy didn’t react, she tried to contain her anger and counted all the times she wanted to tell him exactly what she was thinking and he would just leave before she got the words out. The anger was at how unfair it was that he just walked away and never gave her a chance to respond.

    There was a rap on the door, and Marsha opened the door and said. “hey kiddo, how’s it going? The Lilacs are blooming and I know how much you love them so brought you a bunch for you to enjoy.” Marsha talked really fast and it was difficult to get a word in edgewise. Not that it mattered to Marsha she never had paid attention to anyone else’s views on anything so why bother.

    “I’ve got to go my kids are waiting for me to pick them up, I’ll come by tomorrow.” Marsha blew a kiss as she walked away.

    It’s funny how time passes when you’re not really paying attention. Most of my life my time was precious, always having too much to do and not enough time to get it done. But now it just seems to here and then gone..time is so fleeting, I barely remember what I did yesterday.

    With a start, Kathy wondered, “what did I do yesterday? I can’t even remember the day flew by so fast.” Her thoughts continued and she realized she couldn’t remember what grade Penny or Buster were in, possibly 5th or 6th. She and John hadn’t really talked in a long time and he hasn’t mentioned the kids … probably a good thing as they so often argued about their activities.

    Buster wanted to play Football and she was opposed to it. Maybe Soccer but even that wasn’t good for head injuries. All the news recently about the damage to football players brain was very disturbing and she would never understand why that was still a sport kids were allowed to play.

    As for Penny she was just a tomboy, never interested in being ‘pretty in pink’ and really spent more time with John than Kathy … “Daddy’s little girl”. She wondered why she didn’t have a clearer picture of what they were doing everyday. It seemed really strange, she felt so out of touch with things because one rule they all pretty much abided by was dinner. They had family dinner at least 4 nights a week where they all ate at the dining table, no phones or distractions and talked to each other.

    The last meal she remembered was not the best, Buster was upset cause he’s approaching Junior high and Cub Football starts for those who aspired and the same old “why not”? the school says its okay…what’s wrong with you Mom?” from Buster … and then Penny burst into tears… stands up from the table and cry, “everyone is so obsessed about protecting Buster… but what about me … you don’t care what happens to me!” and runs out the front door, John went after her and Buster and I just looked at each other mouths agape.

    I did know what to do, I told Buster to get his coat and I got the car keys, John and Penny were on the front lawn still arguing, “Come on guys get in the car we’re going down to Smoothieville for some ice cream and shakes with lots of whipped cream”. The old family fixit, always worked whatever the problem, everyone getting ice cream usually ended up with laughter and the end of the tension. But this time John said, “you go, I need a break.”

    I remember the ride to Smoothieville, quiet no on talking and then Penny said, “Mom I need to tell you something about Dad.”

    My heart stopped I knew what it was going to be… Daddy’s Little Girl wasn’t so little anymore, my worst fears were coming to fruition. My hands tightened on the steering wheel… I looked at Penny in the rear view mirror, her eyes met mine and I knew … I looked back at the road as the gas tanker truck crossed through the intersection looming in our windshield before our car slammed into the middle of the tank.

    John opened the door and walked in, “hey babe how you doing today? I worked an extra shift and didn’t get by yesterday”.

    Kathy knew he wasn’t really interested as he turned his attention to Marsha who came into the room.

    “How’s she doing today?” he asked Marsha.

    “The usual a few groans and restless legs, but no move to consciousness” replied Marsha.

    John said with a sigh, “I almost hope she doesn’t come around, it’s been four years, she may never have to know the kids were killed instantly in the crash”.

    There was only silence in Kathy’s mind.

    1. Sorry it’s late, I’ve been working on it but it’s one of those stories I didn’t know where it was going…but I didn’t want to not write something… I really enjoy this group and like to read the stories and comments… so have to do my part too.

    2. Very well written Liz. I was curious, as I read it, and your reveals were satisfying. Well done!

      1. A sad tale and as someone said some masterful reveals and build up of character. You have done well.

    3. Oh my, Liz, you put this together nicely. Saying you’ve been working on it, makes it sound so, I don’t know, like you were struggling with it, but I see no struggle at all. You tied the first and last few paragraphs nicely without ever tipping of the plot, and I will lay awake tonight wondering what Penny was going to tell Kathy, without ever knowing if I was right, or if it was just something mundane, like Daddy hits me sometimes when you’re not here, instead of where my mind went.

      That’s the beauty of good writing. Letting the readers decide what the characters are thinking is far more powerful when you pull it off, than when you put your thoughts in their minds, and leave the reader thinking, well, why did the character say that. Well done, I sincerely mean that.

      Roy

    4. Well done Liz,

      A really good piece of writing that very cleverly holds back on the punch until the very end.
      No critique needed and this will be very high on my voting.
      Kind regards,
      Ken Frape.

    5. Hi Liz,

      This is one of those stories I wish I’d written myself!

      The reveals are gradual and insightful, putting us into the picture naturally, without disturbing the growing sense of suspense.

      I was a bit confused, though, by the first person narration, not quite getting who was talking (thinking) there.

      The ending and final reveal is a masterstroke that wraps up the whole drama of this story very nicely (I mean nicely in the sense of a well-told story – but it’s a horrible tragedy you’re recounting there, of course)

      Cheers!
      Ken

  15. Rumplefinkies- what a great story! You had me hanging on the narrator’s every word. It ended too soon for me, I wanted to read more…

  16. The Tale of Two Couples (1198)

    Harri ploughed deep into the frigidaire, digging his wiry, hairy hand inside, well past the leftover moussaka and halloumi, almost knocking down the bowl of pasta.

    Then got the scare of his life.

    Sitting at the very rear end of the frigidaire was none other than a Stevie Wonder mini lookalike. He heard the familiar drone:

    ‘Hellooo, is it me you’re looking for?
    ‘Cause I wonder where you are and I wonder what you do
    Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?’

    Into his dark hand, Stevie thrust a bottle of beer. Harri’s face broke into a smile as he kissed it with a passion known only to the bootle. The fifth one, this evening. Sallie had had enough of him for the day and retired early to bed. With her book. She needed no bottles to keep her chirpy.
    There was always a dignified distancing ‘tween them for peace sake.

    Caressing his bootle, Harri lay spreadeagled on the ol’ wooden chair, in the wide open patio, looking at the stars, wondering why each one was so distant from the other, alone in its aura.

    It’s the year 2025
    The tsunami that hit along with a hurricane, got the entire city close to being wiped out. Divine retribution?
    Some were picking up from the trash, while others were throwing out trash.

    The internet had removed any remaining trace of feeling or apathy from humans and each one lived for himself.

    You could get a gun wound just for looking different. Get ignored. Get sidelined. Strangely enough the human body had adapted itself to not getting bloodied by these wounds. A stronger leathery skin had woven itself around each person who had the luxury to massage himself with extra virgin coconut oil from Tuticorin.

    Evolution of sorts, you could call it.

    Tender loving care as in the times of GrandPere gen had completely disappeared.

    When little kids dined with their parents, both dada-mama were no longer sneaking peeks into their silly mobiles. Bejewelled phones were strapped right onto their eyes. So they’d stick an ipad in front of the little ‘brat’. They use this term a lot more for the babies they brought into the world, that’s if they ever vocalised.
    The restaurants were filled with people talking without speaking.
    People hearing without listening
    People writing songs that voices never share
    And no one dared
    Disturb the sound of silence.
    (Simon, did you foresee? Garfunkel, did you know?)

    Everybody lived a life devoid of emotion, motion, gumption, or attraction but made sure to massage with lotion each night. There was turtle collagen for tighter skin. Pumpkin mousse for curves. The lips pouted real big, and everything else on the body took on an added curve.
    Even the ears.

    Crafty ol’ Harri knew it was going to get worse and he sniffed money.
    That’s how he chanced upon a brilliant idea to give the world what it needed most.
    LOVE POTIONS.
    The desperate need of the day.
    A super juice to raise the heart’s temperature to get folks more aware of one another.
    It involved the mixing and mashing together of beets, ashwagandha, lemon, turmeric, ginger and pavakka. The last had a bitter twist and mixed together created a very special drink.
    Honey made by special alpine bees was added to give a sweet kickass kinda feeling.

    Upon drinking a quarter cup, eyebrows would naturally go up with immediate effect causing the perfect curve on either side of their eyeballs. A feeling of extreme satisfaction better than any glass of whiskey or beer.

    However there was a statutory warning:
    Couples must drink this together, being of one mind.
    Risky if taken separately.

    A solo drinker was likely to go off on a fiery tangent leaving the non-drinking spouse in the most blasé of moods where the things of the world would go strangely dim. Into a mind numbing silence.

    Each time Harri thought of quitting the race, he drank a dollop of juice all BY HIMSELF!

    It made him dance.

    “I know, I know, I know,”…he’d start singing.
    “What do you know that I don’t?” asked Sallie
    “You CAN’T know because you listen to crap. You can never be like me, I am scientific. I read Saaiyeence.”
    ‘O yes, for sure’ screamed Sallie’s silent undertone.

    Harri was getting used to being mean in his old age. His wife was getting closer to the Heavenly Father instead of him. Since he couldn’t quite get her gist, it got his goat.

    The reality wasn’t unusual. It was happening in many homes. You’d see one spouse clinging to the Lord, leaving the other all knotted up at the unholy end. An eerie harsh silence therefore ensued from both. The thoughts that criss crossed the minds could be turned into a voluminous saga. Some wives knitted, some crocheted, some painted, or talked to their scarves or their dogs.
    Even to their plants.

    An Egyptian fly had found its way into the pantry. Sallie smashed it into silence. If there was a lockdown all over the city, why not kill the flies and moths too? Why should they be allowed to wander free?
    When was the scenario going to change? It was five years since that lousy covid had struck the globe and nobody really cared for the 25th variant.

    Across the road, at the Tomaz household, it was time for Myla to go to the beach to meditate. Her class was to start in an hour. It was called Maun hour- The Hour of Silence.

    Silence? What is that word again?
    What is a noisy, roaring, rumbling, tumbling, bustling, turbulent city to do with silence? That’s how her class got filled up with fancy women doing the mountain pose on the beach. Different, but serene.

    Myla had retired from active counselling service. Free at last from the clatter, the incessant anguish of PTSD tales, and excessive documentation of inane details. The time when she took off to the beach became the precious hour for ol’ Tomaz who could find no more hiding places in the home where he wouldn’t hear her stentorious laughter.

    His idea of profound repose and relaxation came from the vortex of the great money whirlpool, having been a financier all his life. Therein he found his mantra.

    Whenever she talked, Tom Tomaz crossed his palms over his lips like an X. How well he knew the verse in Ecclesiastes: The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools.

    “Ever since she is home, retired, my hands are over my lips. It makes sense not to speak. A fool lets fly with his temper, but a wise man keeps it back.” Nearing 77, peace was all he desired.

    Myla didn’t mind his words. He still loved her, needed her. For her, love covered a multitude of sins.

    Which wise guy said this? Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.
    I don’t want to belong to the second half.
    I should stop.

      1. Thank you, Trish, for the encouragement. I wanted so badly to get back on this group. Had some half written tales..which never got to this site.

    1. Yikes, I don’t think I want to get up tomorrow.. but the songs I loved the songs and they must have known then… my reaction again demonstrates how well words can be put together…

      1. Gloomy threads one after the other. I am not going for that Noir unless it’s about an upside down beetle.
        Hope is a good thing. We can always hope for a better tomorrow.
        Thank you, Liz. Appreciate your words.

    2. Marien,

      Where oh where have you been. I thought you may have abandoned us, and then, here you are, with another tale of thoughts that actually make more sense upon a reread than the first or second time around.And, I love the line about people who have something to say and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it. I sometimes wonder which camp I’m in.

      A whimsical story of the future that lays bare a lot of the nonsense we put up with. Nice job, and good to see you on this forum again.

      Roy

      1. So happy to see your welcoming words here, Roy.

        I had two stories over the last few weeks which never got done before the end date.
        I did a mishmash of the ‘bottled emotions’ with silence here. It kinda worked for me and I got bold to press ‘Enter’.
        Thanks so much.
        Your Gordon is fantastic! May his tribe increase.

    3. Hi Marien,

      So here you are again with a quirky tale about a future still to come, but that is in many ways already with us. So it’s quirky, and poetic, but realistic too. Sally(ie) meets Harry yet again… And the love potions carry on from the bottled emotions of a prompt or so ago…

      Your style is as always of the levitational kind, magical and mysterious in some way, yet rooted in the actual world we live in.

      Cheers!
      Ken

      1. Wow!! Me certainly likey likey that levitational, mystical, magical touch that you see in my tale.

        Renaming ‘Sally meets Harry’ to Sallie and Harri was totally intentional to give them an international flavor. 🙂

        And Ken, you are the genius sleuth- It was my half done Emotions in a Bottle that I rehashed to a silent tenor.
        Was mighty pleased when I was done with it.

        Cheering you on right back.
        Gotta work on gettin’ a car up the terrace and make it look as natural as mist on the roof top.

    4. Hey Rumplefinkies,
      Thanks for reading. Can’t help the songs in my head and it plays as I observe.
      Humor is the best way out of hopeless situations, I say 🙂

  17. To everything there is a season
    by Robt. Emmett

    There comes a time for all things to fall silent. She was a significant influence on me all during my eight years in elementary school. I’ll let her tell her story.
    ~*~

    “Hello. I’m one of the hidden streams of Duluth’s Hillside. People call me Grey’s Creek, although I really don’t know why. I suppose some family named Grey lived close to me for a while, but I don’t remember them. Instead, I’d really rather be named for something that reflects my personality … perhaps I could be called the Little Water. I’m a lot smaller than my neighbors, Chester and Brewery Creeks. I only have about sixty acres of land from which to collect my water. I flow through the East Hillside neighborhood, carrying rainwater from the Summit School hilltop, past the Peace Church and Grant School, and down the hill between eighth and ninth Avenues East all the way to Lake Superior.
    “Like all the streams in the Hillside, I flowed free until about 140 years ago, when people built a city right here. It wasn’t long before they started to hide parts of me away in underground culverts from my mouth at Lake Superior all the way to 4th Street. I didn’t complain. The buildings that were put on top of me were mostly houses and apartments for the city’s working folks. Those folks were a lot like me … hard-working, minded their own business, and just wanted to make Duluth a beautiful place to live.
    “Because I don’t have any waterfalls or high rocky cliffs, no one ever built any big fancy parks along my banks. However, for the same reasons, short stretches of me were left open here and there. It was just a few years ago, in 2002, that one of my most beautiful open sections, right below East 6th Street, was put into a culvert and disappeared. But I still flow free in several places. My eastern branch flows along Kenwood Avenue from Partridge Street to Skyline Parkway and then down a steep hill to the Grant Recreation Area. My western branch can be seen in a few spots near 9th Avenue East from Skyline Parkway to the Recreation Area. These two branches join to flow through a beautiful half-block stretch right across the street from Grant School. Then it’s underground to the alley below 10th Street, where I get another half-block of freedom. I cross under East 9th Street near Foreign Affairs, flow free to 8th Street, and catch my last glimpse of daylight near 7th Street and 8th Avenue East. After that, it’s dark, cold culverts the rest of the way to the lake.
    “A few of the folks who live near me enjoy having me for a neighbor, and they’ve built decks and porches so they can sit outside and listen to the sound of my water flowing gently down the hill. In other places, I’m taken for granted and used as a dumping ground for grass clippings, branches, and trash.
    “But now and then, people in the neighborhood rediscover me and clean up the trash. This happened on a sunny day in May, twenty-eight years ago, when some lovely young neighborhood kids organized a cleanup along my free-flowing section near Grant School. About a dozen people showed up and hauled away lots of stuff that otherwise might have ended up in Lake Superior.
    “It’s great when people come to visit me and help take care of me. After all, that’s what neighbors are for. I like the neighborhoods that grew up around me, and I tried to do my part by carrying water down the hill to Lake Superior. So next time you’re in the East Hillside, be sure to stop by and see what I’m doing. But you must hurry. I will see the autumn colors for the last time this fall. The final 180 feet of my ‘open to the stars run’ will be encased in a culvert before the snowfalls.
    “Remember me as Little Water instead of Grey’s Creek!”
    — ℜ —

    1. Made me visual this stream and mourn those this has happened to overly lifetime, Little Water didn’t mention the life within his water and how that was lost and changed more species lost… so imaginative and well done…

    2. Robert,

      What a departure from your usual writing. And, got a geography lesson thrown in with it. One question. If rivers are ‘old men’ as in ‘Old Man River’, creeks are of the feminine persuasion? Or is that just artistic license? Now I’ve got another thing to lay awake at night and worry about.

      Nicely told tale and good take on the prompt. You must have a diary of your past, because even though I can recall a couple of streets where I lived as a kid, they’re few and far between, and I cannot tell you a single thing about where I went to High School except the street I lived on, and a few other places where something significant happened, like the night we painted Red Bridge blue and gold (our colors) and a few other things. You make a story out of every street. Whew. Wish I had that kind of recall. Maybe it’s best my mind is cluttered with that kind of stuff, although anybody who knows me will tell you it is cluttered. Stuffed full of useless facts. A nice Jeopardy skill, but useless when writing a story where you need to recall a couple of names from the past.

      Roy

      1. Thanks Trish for your comment
        .
        Here is my explanation for my last-minute entry.
        I had the same problem as Peter had with his non-story, “Hamsters” and took a pass. Then the bonus prompt Car on the Roof happened. Great, I thought, a car story. Just up my alley. And after posting and filing away “Pam’s Fault,” I noticed a little thing I’d written many years ago. Two things became evident; Why I’d failed English so often and, with a little polish, the story was a fitter for “Silence.”
        Roy, the sex of a body of water, is up for grabs.
        As to my memory, I clearly remember my school years and long after. Yesterday H not so good.
        Grey’s Creek was on the Northeast corner of 7th Street and 8th Avenue East. It was on two city lots, 801 and 803. I lived at 805 East 7th Street. My cousin recently notified me it’s due to be enclosed as the story states. Other than the large creeks mentioned, dozens of lesser one have been culvert’d-over.
        Grey’s creek was the babysitter for the kids in the neighborhood. There were, at various times, four to ten of us, all about the same age. We’d use the supple branches of the willows as bounding horses to chase the bad guys. The lagoon, about the size of a small room, floated our boats made from quart sized wax paper milk cartons. They burned great, and firecrackers boosted the level of entertainment value. Adding gun powder was a bad idea. Fortunately, at the supper table, Dad noticed my missing eyebrows and sent me to my room before Mom saw. She hated the creek.
        And last tid-bit. One evening after the others had gone home after an evening of flashlight tag, Sheryl Quinn and I sat on the top of the covert and talked, We held hands. Then before we went home, we kissed … once. My first non-familial kiss.
        I’m glad you enjoyed the view of my creek, Liz.

      2. 1873 – The town name was changed to Duluth following completion of the railroad. Duluth was named as a joke after Duluth, Minnesota when Congressman J. Proctor Knott of Kentucky made fun of the name.

    3. Novel idea! Making the creek talk.
      Little Water got a friend in the Brook!

      ….And out again I curve and flow
      To join the brimming river,
      For men may come and men may go
      But I go on forever.

      I couldn’t quite get couple of your quotation marks which opened and never closed though.

      1. Marien, I’m assuming that English is not your native language. I don’t understand all the rules, the exceptions to the rules, and the rules’ acceptable omissions. Therefore, many freshmen college students must take English 99. It is a non-graded course to teach students the subtle nuances of this polyglot form of universal communication.
        That said, here is the gist of why I use the double quote mark (American form) at the beginning of each paragraph and only at the ending section. The structure of HMTL coding used on this platform does not show paragraph breaks or indention, so it’s hard to discern the beginning and end of the paragraphs.
        “When a speaker’s words in dialogue extend to over one paragraph, use an opening quotation mark at the beginning of each paragraph. However, use a closing quotation mark only at the end of the person’s speech, not at the end of every paragraph.”
        You might want to ask, “What harm would occur if it were ignored and people put both opening and closing quotation marks on each adjacent quoted paragraph?”
        If you closed quotes at the end of every paragraph, you would need to re-identify the speaker with every subsequent paragraph.

    4. Hi Robt,

      Once, a famous writing guru I took an online course from, insisted that a place can’t be a character in a story. Characters have to be human, humanoids or human-like. I had a feeling he was wrong. Now I read your piece. He was wrong.

      Cheers!
      Ken

    5. Hi, I had to re-read the first few paragraphs to get the gist of the story, but glad I did. Once I realised it was the river telling the story, it fell into place. It was a refreshingly different tale.

  18. Silent Treatment
    By Roy York
    1043 words

    The last remaining tendrils of his dream were slowly dissolving. Desperately, he tried to cling to them – grasping at them with his mind. Elusively, as all dreams do, they slid away. Awareness began to envelop him as he felt the ceiling fan’s gentle breeze on his forehead.

    It was still dark and he had no idea what time it was. Gordon Booth slowly opened one eye and saw the illuminated numbers on the clock by his bedside – 5:17. ‘Damn,’ he thought, ‘too early to get up, and probably too late to get back to sleep.’

    He lay without moving, sensing something was going on, something he couldn’t quite put together in his mind, and wondered why he felt so strange. Perhaps his dream had been unsettling. The fogginess of sleep was still clouding his thought processes.

    He was aware of his wife, Shirley, laying next to him, warming his left side. He loved the feeling and sense of security her presence brought to him each morning. He noticed she wasn’t moving and he couldn’t hear her breathe.

    He reached over with his right hand and pressed his hand gently on her rib cage where he felt the slow and gentle fall of her breathing. Satisfied everything was as it should be, he slid his hand over farther and pulled himself closer to her satisfying his need to hold her close, breathing in the smell of her which he loved.

    Everything is right with the world. Or, is it? A nagging thought nibbled in the corner of his mind. Something was gently but urgently, telling him something was different this morning. Warm satisfaction grew as he realized his tinnitus, that constant and persistent roar, whistling in his ears – sometimes so severe he could barely stand it – was gone.

    The thought startled him. Then, he also realized he couldn’t hear the gentle, but ever present whirr of the fan blades he could see turning.

    He raised himself to a sitting position on the side of the bed. Sticking his index fingers into each ear he twisted them back and forth and pulled them out. He felt them, but heard no sound. He stood up and walked into the bathroom and flipped the light switch. The light came on, but there was no accompanying click.

    Impulsively, he reached over and flushed the toilet. He watched the water swirl around in the bowl without hearing sound. He looked into the mirror and saw the look of disbelief on his face. He cleared his throat, again without hearing a single sound. Looking deep into his own reflection, Gordon Booth realized he was deaf. Not just deaf, but profoundly deaf, suddenly, as if he’d been disconnected from the universe.

    He called out to his wife, Shirley, and in his reflection he could see his lips move, but heard absolutely nothing. The absence of sound was almost overwhelming. He called out his wife’s name again, louder – he thought – and turned toward the door.

    He could see her getting out of bed, as she rushed toward him, her lips moving. He could tell by the look of concern on her face she knew something was wrong. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

    “I can’t hear you,” he said. “I can’t hear any sounds. I am totally and completely deaf.”

    “Gordon,” she said, “are you sure? You’re telling me you’re deaf?” He looked at her helplessly and shrugged his shoulders.

    “I have no idea what you just said to me,” he said. “Wait a minute. I’ll be right back.” He quickly walked into their office and grabbed a pen and pad from the desk. When he returned he handed it to her and said, “Here. Write down what you are saying. I can’t hear any thing.”

    She wrote, DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL 911?

    He looked at her in disbelief. “No,” he said, knowing she could hear him.

    DON’T TALK SO LOUD, she wrote.

    He almost smiled. He took the urgency out of his voice and said, “Is this better?”

    She nodded her head. LET ME MAKE SOME COFFEE. WE NEED TO GET YOU TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. YOU GET DRESSED.

    He grabbed her hand. “Make the coffee,” he said, “but first, before any emergency room, I’m going to do some research. Then we’ll decide.”

    A few minutes later, with his coffee in hand, he sat down at the dining room table with Shirley. “It’s called SSHL. Sudden Sensorineural Hearing Loss. It may be temporary but, there’s a greater chance it could be permanent, according to what I’ve read. So, I think I should make an appointment with Dr. Davison first, and then get his recommendation as to how to proceed.”

    * * * * *

    Gordon was sitting on the couch watching the golf match when Shirley walked into the room and sat next to him. She held out a glass of wine in front of him getting his attention.

    “Thanks,” he said.

    She sat down next to him and picked up her pad. IT’S BEEN 3 MONTHS. HAVE YOU NOTICED ANYTHING?

    “Other than the fact you’re more beautiful now than when I married you, no,” he said.

    She laughed and playfully hit him on the shoulder. She wrote DO WE HAVE TO WATCH GOLF? I CAN THINK OF OTHER THINGS WE CAN DO.

    “Like what?” he asked. From the moment he had been afflicted with his sudden deafness, Shirley had been far more attentive than she had ever been. He was truly enjoying it, perhaps more than he should.

    She wrote, YOU CAN HELP ME MAKE THE BED.

    “I made it a little while ago.”

    She stood up and tossed her head in the direction of the bedroom as if saying, “come on”. THEN YOU CAN HELP ME MESS IT UP, she wrote. She tossed the pad on the coffee table. She started to unbutton her blouse.

    “Can I bring the wine?” he said as he stood up and, using the remote, clicked off the TV..

    She grabbed her glass and, gently pulling him toward her, kissed him
    sensuously on the lips. He kissed back with a bit more passion.

    With her leading the way as they walked toward the bedroom, he thought to himself, “How and when am I going to tell her I can hear again?”

    1. Roy- I was riding along with your story, really hanging on the poor narrator’s dilemma, and I absolutely did not envision the end. Loved it!

      1. Thanks, Trish. That was my goal. I had a whole different ending that was completely unsatisfactory and highlighted it, hit delete and started writing the new ending, which, surprised even me. Glad I did, and I’m glad you enjoyed it.

        Roy

    2. Roy,OK, surprise… how long before he reacts to a sound I’m wondering and how pissed is she going to be…good story suspense ate end in the readers mind…. Liz

      1. Liz,

        My wife, to whom I am indebted as a beta reader, had the same reaction, but hers was something more on the lines of ‘had this been a true story’ looking me right in the eyes, indicated I would need to sleep with one eye open for the rest of my life. That’s how pissed she would be. So, I kinda know … and I believe her. It was just he way she said it.

        Ahem … thinking for my character, I’m sure he was thinking he needed to do tell her pretty soon, but right now, things are going so well, if you get my drift, he is going to risk it just a bit longer.

        Roy

    3. Hi Roy,

      It’s quite an enjoyable read, starting in a panicky mode, in that twilight zone between sleep, dream and wakefulness (I think this is the most beautifully told part of the story). We soon realize that there are perks in deafness, like in everything else in life, good and bad. It depends how one looks at whatever it is. The fondness Gordon receives outweighs the major inconvenience of not being able to hear, and now that he can hear again, well, he has a dilemma…

      It’s interesting how some, like Phil, demonized sound/noise, while here the problem (turned prospect) is silence and deafness…

      Cheers!
      Ken

  19. Not sure what happened, it was still in my WordPress app so I was able to copy the story. I edited your “sorry” comment, and pasted it in that comment. I wasn’t sure what you were saying sorry for, and I cannot undo any deleting of stories, if the author does it.

    If you’d like me to revert the sorry comment back to sorry, let me know.

  20. Words…so many fantastic words.. I have to say my favorite is probably the most simple…factose.. the allergic to factose thought says it all… the dumbing down of America… absolutely… my mind wandered now and then… there were so many words but I always felt the need to go back to the area I had wandered from to make sure I hadn’t’ missed another artifact.. so many gems.

  21. John,

    Factoid intolerant. How great was that line? Indeed! Well done, and no need for the apology whatsoever. Very clever writing and nicely done. Kept me on my seat. I think you might have clarified the last line to – Well, thanks for the Wi-Fi repair instead of installation, as in the first paragraph you wrote: I thank you for fixing that contraption for me and I wish you well, which indicates it was a repair, not an installation. But that is sort of nit-picky, but all in all, a fair observation on my part.

    Good tale with descriptive writing. And, I’m glad you cast the demon out.

    Roy

  22. A short little cure for insomnia. I won’t be able to vote this time around, so don’t vote for me. (Especially those I already paid. It would look suspicious, so, you know, just chill.)

    I already read half of the stories, will download the other half now to read tomorrow. Great stuff so far. My offering is too late for the contest so skipping it altogether is understandable, especially if you’re driving a car or operating heavy machinery.

    This is just a kind of a short free, fart of a story, but don’t let that fool you, you’ll be asleep within minutes after reading this. If you can even make it to the end. Good luck.

    Cheers.
    K.

    Dumbfoundling.
    555 words (or so.)
    Cartisanomoa

    He came to his senses slumped in his easy chair. She was sitting on the sofa across from him in a bright yellow sun dress, flipping through some kind of journal, scanning each page, then deftly bending the issue back until, as if in slow motion, a single page turned.

    She would then scan the next page, and go through the same identical motions. In turn, each page submitted itself for her idle scrutiny before being bent, raised, turned, and dismissed.

    He watched with a kind of empty-headed fascination at the simplicity of her page-turning technique, how gently her elegant hands cradled the book’s spine, the way her nimble fingers manipulated each page.

    His eyes drifted from her hands to her arms, then shifted their focus to a small diamond pendant that twinkled as it moved with the steady rise and fall of her chest.

    Her brown eyes, shielded by long lashes, often conveyed a sense of surprise. Dimples in each cheek leant a hint of doubt, or skepticism to her expression.

    She turned another page.

    ‘I am so hopelessly inept with this woman,’ he thought; he was nearly moved to speak, but held his tongue. It would be wiser to let her speak first.

    He wanted to explain, to apologize, to beg for her forgiveness—but for what? Which of his assorted sins, of recent vintage, had offended her profound loveliness? He had no clue.
    He was the village clod, who trips over a gold brick in his yard. Her interest in him was inexplicable by anyone’s judgement, even his.

    ‘So,’ he thought, ‘this is what people mean by ‘the silent treatment’.

    He cleared his throat, unsure of what to say, but she didn’t look up.

    It was their third anniversary; he knew that much. He’d taken her out for dinner at a fancy restaurant in town, and—something had happened.

    He remembered sweaty faces, the sounds of grunts and groans, fists flying and blood on one of his nicest shirts. A gift from his wife—who turned another page.

    That must be it. The details were still fuzzy but he must have made a shambles out of their anniversary dinner.

    What could he do to make amends? What could he say?

    And then he remembered. It wasn’t some clumsy oaf making amorous advances, or your typical mix of alcohol and testosterone. This was different. Someone had insulted her, deliberately.

    Events came back to him as the hangover abated and he winced as he shifted his weight in his favorite chair.

    She noticed his movement and glanced up, closed the magazine with one hand and addressed him with her free hand. “Great morning sunlight. How do you brain this early?”

    Even after three years he was still not very competent, but thought, ‘That can’t be right,’ and made the sign for a question.

    She repeated the signs more distinctly. ‘Good morning Sunshine. How is your head?’ She pointed at her head.

    “Ah, of course, my head. How is my head?” he said, and gave her a thumbs up, then a thumbs down. After a moment of thought, and unable to recall the correct sign for the word, he simply spelled it out. H-a-r-d a-s e-v-e-r.

    1. That’s a very visual piece you wrote there, Ken – I can see the two of them right before my eyes, in the sunlight and all. And also see what’s going through their heads, ‘blockages’ included. There are some skilfully chosen words tossed in there that make this story realistic, the external descriptions mirroring neatly the internal workings of these two characters’ minds. The finale is amusing, masculine…

      Pity we can’t vote for you this time around. But, then again, I may be operating heavy machinery. It can be dangerous.

      Cheers!
      Ken

    2. Ah, Rumplefinkies, now you’ve done it. Being a newbie, you don’t know that like a trap door spider, Cartisano was laying in wait for someone to say ‘we miss you’. Now, we will be inundated with his humorous (sometimes brilliant) attempts to overwhelm us with his wit and sarcasm. He’ll be back in full form and as cantankerous, or should I say, Cartisanerous as ever. It’s OK, you’ll learn.

      Roy

    3. Great story, Ken C., Too bad you couldn’t vote. I thought it was really well written. FullY developed, maybe one if your best and that’s saying something.

      Roy

  23. Hi John,

    What a descent into “madness”, we’ve got here, into the mine and back with evermore wondrous tales of these men-from-below and what becomes of them. Fantasy rooted in reality, punctuated by beer drinking (reality descending into fantasy?), it’s a story that grows more outlandish by the paragraph, yet still holds itself together (and yes, it held me on too… I did read it till the end. I suppose I am not factose intollerant after all!). I will be reading it again and again, letting some time pass in between – I’m sure I’ll find more gems in it (like the miners digging in the mine) that I may have missed the first time…

    (PS. And I’m still to comment on your last story… I didn’t forget that… bear with me!)

    Cheers!
    Ken

  24. Hey Rumplestiltskin,
    I sooo enjoyed this extravagant piece of crazy writing. (Didn’t get that wifi bit… but who cares!)
    I did feel like a miner digging deep and finding good stuff. Yours is fantasy worth the dig, dig, dig.
    Will dig once more.

  25. Thanks Ken,

    I think your story was tops, brilliantly conceived and executed. (Like a military operation.) A light-hearted but cutting satirical commentary on the current state of political affairs in much of the civilized world. Blecht.

    Looks like I’ll be able to vote on the stories at least, if unable to offer anything in the way of comments this week. It’s clear that this site is bubbling over with thoughtful, creative, high-quality writers. (Quite possibly authors, even. Heavens to Murgatroyd!)

    I really didn’t have the interest to write this week, nor the connections to read or comment. I thought it would be a clever prompt, but even I was stumped for a story. I guess I decided to live the prompt instead of writing about it. Good prompts are not one of my speci-alities. Ask anyone. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

    Good luck in the voting, Ken Miles.
    K

  26. Ok writers!
    Here are your winners!

    First Place: Blown Away by Phil Town
    Second Place: Silent Treatment by Roy York
    Third Place: Burn After Reading by John Mansfield
    Fourth Place: by Once Upon a Time by Ilana Leeds
    Fifth Place: Permission to speak? by Ken Frape
    Sixth Place: Silence is Deaf by Liz Fisher
    Seventh Place: Claptrap by Ken Miles
    Eighth Place: Sweet Revenge by kirstennairn
    Ninth Place: To everything there is a season by Robt. Emmett
    Tenth Place: The Tale of Two Couples by Marien Oommen
    Eleventh Place: The importance of being silent by Mike Rymarz
    Twelfth Place: Hamsters by Peter Holmes

    Disqualified due to not voting: The Sound Of? by Colin Devonshire

    The favorite character was “Gordon” from Roy’s Silent Treatment
    And the story with the favorite dialogue was “Sweet Revenge” by kirstennairn

    Congrats to all!

    1. Blimey! Thanks everyone. I thought my story would be too heavy to score well … but I was wrong.

      It’s getting increasingly difficult to put the stories in order of quality (for me, anyway). Congrats all!

    2. Congrats to some great stories (and writers). I’m happy to finish second to Phil town. Gordon and I thank you all for your votes. And to Liz Fisher, I thought your story deserved a better fate, just saying, with no offense to the stories that did.

      Roy

  27. Congrats Phil and Roy and others. Very hard to place stories this week. Quality and and quantity! Great lot of new writers too!

Comments are closed.